Friday, April 04, 2008

Time with MM


I have to say I am quite glad it's Friday. This week wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great, and I am looking forward to spending the whole weekend with MM. I feel a little bit bad to be out of town for Mom's last weekend in Phoenix, but in fairness, she was originally supposed to already be back in Ohio when I RSVP'd for tomorrow's wedding and planned this weekend trip. (And she is totally understanding about the situation.) I'll see Mom on Sunday when we return and go to the Ms' house for dinner.

I realized this morning that MM and I have not spent an entire weekend together since our trip to Vegas in December ( When I stop and think about it, it seems odd to me that MM and I are at this stage in our relationship, and yet we only see each other 3-4 times a week. We talk regularly about buying a house together, having a child, and occasionally even marriage, but we see each other less than most high school couples probably do. LOL

It's doubly weird for me, because I have never been at this point in a relationship with someone and not been living with them or at least seeing them daily. I've had two prior "marriage track" relationships, to use my friend V's expression. The first, with R when I was 23 to 25, we moved in together after 6-7 weeks of dating. With SL, we were neighbors in the same apartment complex after dating for just a little over 3 months and were seeing each other daily before that. SL and I were also co-workers for the first 8 months we dated and moved in together around the same time he got a different job, so there was never a time after the first week or two when we didn't see each other daily. (Come to think of it, R and I were co-workers throughout our entire relationship.)

I'm not sure if it's "normal" to be in an adult relationship at the level of commitment that MM and I have without seeing each other every day, but because of my relationship history, it doesn't seem normal to me. For that reason alone, I'll be glad when we move in together. (Not that there aren't other reasons. . . . )

A couple of reasons that MM and I don't see each other every day are logistical: he lives almost 30 miles away from where I live, though we only work about 10 minutes apart. We work slightly different hours, too. Even if I were willing to drive out to MM's place more often, Sebastian is a consideration; even the best dog ever can only go about 10-11 hours without a potty break. And, of course, MM is allergic to Sebastian, and this simple fact has significantly limited the amount of time he can spend at my place. (MM's only ever spent the night at my place once, and that was because Sebastian ate 4 S.O.S. pads and was really sick. And he was miserable the entire next day after sleeping over.

Actually, on that note, let me share that MM came over for about an hour last night after the gym and dinner. He has been using the Flonase the allergist prescribed for nearly two weeks now, so he wanted to see what effect, if any, it would have on his reactions to Sebastian. I am happy to report that he did much, much better than before: he only had a little sneezing and no swollen/watery eyes. He even petted Sebastian. We are both very optimistic now about the prospect of the two of them being able to live together. Once I get the HEPA filter the doctor recommended and start doing things to reduce Sebastian's dander, his symptoms will likely be even further decreased.

I never really entertained the thought of getting rid of Sebastian--nor did MM ever say that I should--but I will tell you that I have had some concerns about whether MM would be able to get his allergies to a point where the two of them could co-exist. What a relief!

I look forward to living with MM. I'd like for his face to be the first one I see every morning and for his voice to be the last one I hear before I fall asleep at night. I don't have a big need for personal space, so I think it'll be great.

I do recognize, though, that this will be a bigger adjustment for MM than for me when it finally happens. As a baseline matter, he has a hard time with change. Specific to this situation, he has only lived with one other woman: he was 22 then, and they broke up after two months of cohabitating. Also, he has had basically no roommates since college--a friend of a friend once lived with him for about 6 weeks--and suffers from "OCS": only child syndrome. MM is used to lots of alone time. He is also going to be adjusting to living with Sebastian, a 75-lb Golden Retriever, when he hasn't lived with a dog since age 14. . . and even then, it was a 20-lb Schnauzer.

After a period of adjustment, I'm sure our cohabitating will go fine once it happens.

It's the freakin' weekend!