Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Post #300

Wow. I had really hoped to blog about something interesting for my 300th post. In fact, I've been contemplating topics for over a month. But now that's just not gonna happen.
I have been really sick for several days! It started with my second cold of the year at the beginning of last week. By Saturday night, in addition to my cold symptoms and being generally weak and tired, I had a productive cough and was running a fever. I hate going to the doctor, but I felt so bad on Monday afternoon that I broke down and went to urgent care.
The doctor at urgent care diagnosed me with bronchitis; he said I'd acquired a secondary bacterial infection while I had my cold. He prescribed me antibiotics, a codeine cough syrup for nighttime, and encouraged rest and extra fluids.
Today is the first day in four days that I've woken up without a fever! I am not even congested at the moment, though I still feel a little headache-y. I hope this means that I am over the worst of this crap.
I have continued to work, in spite of being sick, because I've had stuff on my calendar that I had to cover, like court hearings and depositions. I am going in a little late today because I have nothing on the calendar. Not that I don't have work, mind you, but I have no appointments scheduled.
Because of my bronchitis, I haven't been able to exercise; my last workout was Friday evening. If I still feel at least this good tomorrow evening, I'll go to the gym with MM then. (The doctor said I shouldn't work out until I didn't feel tired anymore.)
Other than feeling like ass, not much new has been going on. MM has been sick, too, though mainly just a sore/scratchy throat. We've been quite a pair this past week or so.
I was so glad to see the scale finally move below 205! I weighed 204.8 on Tuesday morning, too. My eating has not been optimal since I've been sick--I haven't had nearly enough veggies and have skipped some meals due to lack of appetite--but I've stayed off the white flour and sugar anyway.
Maybe I will post something good for Post #301. . . . .

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Holding steady

Still no downward movement on the scale, though I am eating well and exercising regularly. It was one of my nights off from the gym last night, but I walked Sebastian for 25 minutes at a fairly brisk pace. My dinner was a big tofu and veggie stir-fry from Pei Wei with some brown rice. Actually, as I type this, I'm realizing that last night's dinner probably had a lot of sodium. Maybe I am retaining some water. I'll have to drink some extra water today to compensate.
My friend A at work commented today that I look as though I've lost a little weight. I notice a slight difference myself, too. So I shouldn't obsess over the scale.
MM and I are supposed to go to the gym tonight again, unless he's not feeling up to it: he caught the same cold I'm still getting over, and he felt really weak yesterday during his workout, he said. If he still feels that bad today, he may skip the gym; then we'll just go out for dinner instead. I'll hit the gym tomorrow night if that happens to make up for tonight's workout. I'm determined to work out at least three times a week; tonight/tomorrow will make my third gym workout this week.
Yesterday marked six months I have been at my "new" job. Time has really flown since I moved back to Phoenix. I still feel like a novice at work--in a way I did not as a prosecutor after six months on the job--but I've been told by several people that it can take as long as two years to feel totally comfortable in civil practice. The cases progress at a slower pace, so it takes longer to become familiar with the whole process.
As predicted by the partners when I started, I now have a full workload and plenty of things to occupy my time. I still find billing my time to be a hassle; I imagine I probably always will. But it's just one of those things I have to live with. All in all, my current job is far less stressful than my last one, in many different ways, and I have very little to complain about.
My mom was originally supposed to have arrived yesterday, but now it looks like she won't get here until Saturday afternoon at the earliest, and maybe not until some time early next week. (She noticed some trouble with her clutch and decided to get it serviced while she was in Las Cruces visiting friends, and it is taking longer than she expected.) Given that Mom is going to be here until after the first of April, it's really not that big a deal that she hasn't arrived yet.
I received my invitation to my friend D's wedding in Texas next month. Mom is going to go with me to the wedding; she has known D as long as I have. It's funny: D will be married twice before I am even married once. I hope things work out for her this time.
It's funny how life goes along in a fairly predictable way for periods of time, and other times new stuff is happening almost daily. After the year I had in 2007, I have to say that I'm content to have the eventful, predictable routine I have right now. Routine=no drama.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The number

The scale really hasn't moved much for the past week or so. I continue to follow SB (Phase 2), and I've been going to the gym, so I'm not sure what gives. However, I do notice a little more tone in my muscles, and my pants are fitting slightly looser, so I guess I shouldn't obsess too much over the number on the scale. I'd really like to get under 200, though.
I am getting over my cold. I'm still coughing a little and still a little congested, but feel much better than I have the past two days. I hope to be back to 100% by tomorrow. I *was* still able to work out last night, in spite of my cold.
MM and I went to the gym last night, where I did upper body weights and 32 minutes on the elliptical trainer. I am really enjoying working out regularly again. And most evenings before I go to the gym, I also take Sebastian on a 15-20 minute walk around the neighborhood.
It's nice seeing MM more often, too. Getting together to go to the gym together, then getting a quick dinner, is a different vibe from being on a date. Plus, I don't have to dress cute, wear makeup, or style my hair for these get-togethers, LOL. It's a more relaxed time together in a way. . . . not that being on a date with MM is not relaxing, but it's just different.
My mom should be arriving on Friday. I'm looking forward to seeing her. MM is going to meet her once she arrives, too, which should make her happy.
On the house-hunting front, I have decided to hold off for now. I need some more time to get my financial ducks in a row, and I figure since I've waited this long to buy, I might as well wait and see where things go with MM. By the fall, if we are still together, we will likely be wanting to move in together. Everything I read seems to indicate that the housing market will not be rebounding before 2009, so November or December will still be an OK time to buy. Obviously, if MM and I end up buying together, we will be able to afford a much nicer and larger place than either of us could buy alone.
Not too much excitement here. Work continues to be busy. And on that note, I'd better get back to it.

Monday, January 21, 2008


I slept fitfully last night, due to another head cold. WTF?? I rarely get sick, and I've now had two colds almost back to back! Anyway. . . .
Because I was sleeping very lightly, I can remember parts of two dreams I had. In the first dream, MM sent me a photo (on my BlackBerry) of him in a hot tub with another woman. The two of them were all tan and smiling, and the woman was much younger, thinner, and prettier than me. When I got angry, MM denied any infidelity and said that he'd sent me the photo so I could see for myself what he was up to.
The second dream was about someone I almost never think about: the first guy I ever had sex with, who I will call CM for short. The story of how I came to have sex with CM is not very interesting. CM and I were never boyfriend/girlfriend, though I did hook up with him a few more times 5-6 years later. In the dream, CM was very hateful to me when I asked him why he had never called me after a date. (Note: in real life, CM never went on a real "date," so this scenario never occurred.)
So I guess the theme of these dreams was rejection. To the best of my recollection, that dream about MM was the first one I've had about him; too bad it couldn't have been more positive. And dreaming about CM was unexpected because, as I mentioned, I rarely think of him.
My office is closed today, so technically I have the day off from work. I have so much work to do, however, that I am going to go in and work for 5-6 hours a little later today. This morning I have to take KC to the airport; after that, I'll head to the office and attempt to make a little progress in completing the multiple projects I have in process at the moment.
South Beach diet is going well, and I have already gone to the gym once this week, after going three times last week. Saturday night, I decided to "cheat" by eating some pepperoni pizza and a few hot wings. After eating that meal, I had horrible indigestion for hours; I guess my body is just not used to getting that amount of grease anymore. That's probably a good thing.
I had some excitement this weekend: on Friday night, while MM and I were out to dinner, Sebastian grabbed a box of S.O.S. pads from the kitchen counter and ate four of them. He puked up one pad on Saturday around noon, had loose gray stools all afternoon, then puked up another pad and pooped out two more during the early morning hours of Sunday while I was asleep. I'm glad my boy is OK; I was worried about him. He seems to have recovered from his misadventure, though.
MM was very sweet and offered to stay at my place Saturday night, due to Sebastian's (self-induced) illness; first time he's spent the night at my apartment. MM took a Claritin before he came over, so his dog allergy symptoms, though not entirely suppressed, were minimal.
MM and I had dinner Friday night, followed by a couple of hours of hanging out at my place; Saturday night we did dinner and a movie; and Sunday we had lunch and went house hunting together. Just a typical weekend for most couples, I suppose. It was really great to be with him. Today has been four months since our first date. Awwww.
In some ways, it seems like a lot longer than four months that we've been together. I love MM, and I feel very close to him. I know he loves me, too; not only does he tell me often, but it's apparent from his behavior, too. I will be very surprised if things don't work out with us. . . . but I guess you never know.
Damn runny nose!!

Thursday, January 17, 2008


I'm up in Prescott for my day of depositions. What a nice drive. It's 18 degrees here at the moment. Brrrr. I actually kind of like it for a change.

Had a good workout last night: I did 25 minutes on the elliptical and did upper body free weights. I only had to wait 5 minutes for a machine. I'm really enjoying getting back in the swing of working out.

About to get to work. . . .

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Juggling balls

Not quite sure why the scale is back up a little. My eating yesterday was not excessive or unhealthful; however, I did reintroduce some "good" carbs, so maybe that's it.
I am hella busy at work. It is ridiculous the number of balls I have in the air at the moment. This is the way that I thought this job would be: I am slowly chipping away at my "to do" list, then two people come in to give me additional assignments. [sigh] Well, on the plus side, I should no longer have any difficulty finding work to occupy me or billing enough hours!
We have a three-day weekend coming up because the office is closed Monday for MLK Day. I'm thinking I'm going to work 5-6 hours on Monday, even though the office is closed, in an attempt to get caught up.

MM and I are going to the gym again tonight after work. I'm bringing People magazine so that I don't get as angry about waiting for the elliptical trainer this time. ;-)
Back to work!

Monday, January 14, 2008


205.2 (on Sunday--didn't weigh today)

My trip to Tucson was successful: I took my CASA child to the zoo (along with her foster sister), met my friend C for coffee, had dinner with friends M and F (& F's 6-year-old daughter) at PF Chang's, then spent the rest of the evening chatting with M at her house. And oh yeah, I took my planned deposition this morning, which was the main reason for the trip in the first place. LOL

Tomorrow morning I am leaving at 7:00 to drive to Kingman with one of the partners with whom I work a lot. We'll be attending a deposition there and meeting with a regular and frequent client. It's a three-and-a-half hour drive, and we will be returning the same day, so a lot of time on the road.

Then Thursday I have to drive to Prescott for a full day of depositions--9:00 to 5:00. That drive will take me a little over two hours each way, so that'll be my third travel day this week. I knew I was going to have to travel for this job; I guess I never realized that I'd be cramming it all into the same week. :-)

Tonight was my first night meeting MM at the gym. I got irrationally angry about the amount of time I had to wait for an elliptical trainer: it took nearly 20 minutes for one to become available. Apparently this is not uncommon, and I'm just going to have to get used to it. I thought of perhaps going to the gym at a different time--early in the morning or on my lunch hour--but neither of those times works well, and if go then, MM and I cannot go together. Eventually I got a brief (20-minute) workout in on an elliptical, as well as doing some upper body free weights.

After the gym, MM and I got a quick bite to eat at Chipotle. It was nice to see him, even though I was surly about waiting around. He looked really cute running on the treadmill. Tee hee ;-)

Because I was staying at my friend M's and she doesn't own a scale, I didn't get to weigh myself this morning. (Actually, it probably wouldn't be accurate anyway if I weighed on a different scale than mine.) Tomorrow is my last official day of South Beach Phase One, but due to my work-related travel, I'll be cutting Phase One short by a day and starting to reintroduce healthy carbs tomorrow. I'll be interested to see what the scale says tomorrow morning.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Woohoo carrots!


Friday, January 11, 2008

20 years


Boy, am I glad today is Friday. This week has seemed interminably long. I think it's a combination of first-of-the-year rush and the fact that I'd only worked a three-day week the past two weeks due to the holidays. And oh yeah, I've also been hella busy at work; I'm sure that's a factor, though sometimes being busy seems to make the time pass more quickly.

I don't think I've blogged about the fact that I got an email on New Year's Day from a high school classmate inquiring about our 20th reunion this summer. I grew up in a small town of about 5000 and had only 69 people in my high school graduating class. My closest high school friends were actually in the class a year ahead of me, so I haven't really kept in touch with anyone from my class. The woman who sent this email to me (as well as eight other people) is someone who looked me up a few years ago via; we have emailed sporadically over the past four years or so. (She is married to another member of our class.) In high school, I wouldn't have called her a friend per se, but I always liked her, got along with her, and occasionally socialized with her in groups. Not someone you'd call up to chat, but someone you'd say hi to if you saw her at school, that sort of deal.

Anyway, the fact that I will have been out of high school for twenty years this spring is more than a little depressing. Where have those twenty years gone? In some ways, I feel that I don't have a whole lot to show for that time. I am sure that the majority of my classmates have spouses and children, and I don't have either. I *did* achieve my #1 high school goal, though: I moved the hell out of town. LOL
A number of my high school classmates still live in my hometown. . . . in fact, I had a very nice email this afternoon from the man who was our class president. He is a teacher and football coach at our high school. I know of at least three other high school classmates who are still there. . . . and that's just of the people I keep up with through other people's gossip (probably less than 10-15).
Well, I have my career and my three degrees. And, more importantly, I am happy with my life.

All in all, contemplation of my 20th reunion was not something I wanted on the first day of the new year. I don't know if I'll even go to the reunion. . . . I had a few friends in my class, but I wasn't all that close to anyone. And there were a few classmates whom I genuinely despised. Knowing the way these things go, all the people I'd rather not see will probably be the ones that show up!
I can't even remember the last time I visited my hometown. My father moved to the nearest city of any size (about 80 miles away) in 1990, so I've had no real reason to go back since then. I think I've been through there on one or two occasions; I know I stopped there briefly in December 2001 to visit my grandmother's grave. But even that was over six years ago.
I'm looking forward to my weekend. I'm hanging out with MM tonight: dinner at the Olive Garden and 3:10 to Yuma on the DVD player at his place. Tomorrow morning my friend KH is hosting a brunch at her place; friends C (& her new husband) and KC will also be in attendance. Sunday morning I am getting up early to watch friend A run past in the PF Chang's Rock n Roll marathon: the route is within a block of my place. Then I've gotta drive up to Tucson to visit my CASA child M. I'm spending Sunday night in Tucson so that I can attend a deposition there the following morning; I'll be staying at my friend M's house (my former house), so I'm sure I'll see her. I may see other friends, too, time permitting.
Monday evening after I return to Phoenix, MM and I are going to the gym together after he gets off works. Fun, fun. I hope that goes OK. I'm looking forward to getting back to the gym!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

iTunes Revenge

Unlike the blogger from whom I lifted this, I have no problem playing someone else's game. ;-) I wasn't going to blog this, but after actually doing it, some of the results are too funny not to post.

iTunes RevengeRules: Put your music player on shuffle, press forward for each question and use the next song title as the next answer.

What does next year have in store for me?
Fuck Off - Kid Rock

What’s my love life like?
Top of the World - Dixie Chicks (awww. . . . )

What do I say when life gets hard?
Fist of Rage - Kid Rock (funny, I do often react with anger to stress. . . . )

What do I think of upon waking up?
Who Can It Be Now - Men at Work

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Piano Man - Billy Joel

What do I want as a career?
Return to Sender - Elvis Presley (I wanted to be a mailman when I was little)

My favorite saying?
Time - Sarah McLachlan

Favorite place?
The Prayer - Josh Groban/Charlotte Church

What do I think of my parents?
She's Got a Way - Billy Joel

What’s my porn star name?
The Entertainer - Billy Joel (LOL)

Where would I go on a first date?
Once Bitten Twice Shy - Great White

Drug of choice?
Some Fantastic - Barenaked Ladies

Describe myself.
What You Waiting For - Gwen Stefani (I'm a terrible proscrastinator)

What is the thing I like doing most?
Who Do You Love - George Thurgood

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
Grey Street - Dave Matthews Band

How will I die?
Wasting Time - Kid Rock (probably true!)



Just a quick note. Busy day at work, and now I'm off to play Bunco for the first time.

For the first time in a week, the scale stayed the same. I'm OK with it.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008


The scale continues to move down. . . . nice. I was a little concerned because I ate out with KC last night. I had almond-crusted tilapia with lentils, zucchini, and onions: actually a pretty healthful meal overall, but I wasn't sure if lentils are permitted on Phase One of South Beach and the veggies obviously had a lot of butter on them (sigh). I also skipped my evening walk last night because I went out to dinner instead. Yes, I put having a leisurely dinner with my best friend before exercising with my dog.
I will walk this evening. Tomorrow night I might not, depending on how far I get with the work I need to complete, and Thursday night I definitely won't, because I will be with MM.
I woke up with a headache this morning. Not sure if I slept wrong--stiff neck and shoulders--or it was a budding migraine--I didn't yet have any associated migraine symptoms--but I took ibuprofen and Imitrex and felt OK by 10:00 and 100% by 1:00. Whew. Don't know what brought this headache on; I hadn't had one in over a month.
MM and I met for lunch today! I suggested it when we were on the phone last time, as neither of us had a very demanding day at the office planned today. I miss him a lot when I don't see him during the week, and I know he feels the same, 'cause he often mentions how much he misses me when we talk. I am still happy with our current date schedule of two nights most weeks, but I think it's nice to do lunch, too, when we can. It's brief and low-stress; we don't work that far from one another either, so it's not terribly inconvenient.
I think I'm going to look for a house soon. I'm not yet totally committed to the idea of actually purchasing--still have some commitment-phobia about it--and I'm also not sure that I am in the right financial position to do this at present. But I think the time is right for me to at least explore my options.
To that end, I have asked my hairstylist's partner, who also does hair but is a real estate agent besides, to locate some properties that fit my desired criteria. He sent me a couple of emails with places yesterday and today that looked intriguing. I'll be out of town this weekend, but on Sunday 1/20, I'm planning on visiting some houses/townhouses.
MM is excited about my buying a house and wants to go with me to look. In fact, when I mentioned all this at lunch, he said that he wants us to go look on our own some this Saturday after our planned brunch with friends. LOL
Back to work! I've been quite productive so far this week. . . .

Monday, January 07, 2008

Back in the groove

209.2 (nice)
Despite not exercising for the past two days and the caesar salad I had for lunch yesterday with full-fat dressing, the scale continues to edge down. I am satisfied with how I handled my weekend eating-wise. MM and I went to a hockey game on Saturday night, and I only had a salad with turkey and a little bit of cheese (which I'm sure wasn't lowfat, but anyway). We went to lunch at Fuddrucker's, and I had a chicken caesar salad (will regular dressing, but still probably better than a burger and fries, and low carb). I have been eating about every 3-4 hours and resisting all temptations to indulge in carbs. . . . . and there have been many.
Following South Beach while out with MM this weekend, it was obvious to me that he has never dieted. LOL He was all distressed for me that I "couldn't" have a hot dog, nachos, or pizza. I honestly didn't mind. . . . and as is obvious from this blog, I am a veteran dieter and therefore quite used to limiting my food choices.
Actually, since I have been following SB these past 5 days, I have felt very good. My energy level is much more constant than it usually is. I almost feel like I could get through the mornings without coffee--gasp! (I've had to switch from my usual soy mocha to caffe latte with Splenda, but am still getting the caffeine.) I really think there's something to this whole glycemic index thing, at least for me.
I am sticking with my original plan to do nothing more than walk Sebastian around the neighborhood until I start Phase 2 and can eat some carbs again. So tonight after work, I'll be walking the boy again, which should make him happy. (I took him to the dog park yesterday morning for about an hour; he had a great time!)
MM and I are going to start going to the gym on Tuesday & Thursday evenings beginning next Tuesday (1/15). I've told him that his going with me doesn't have to be a forever thing, but will really help me to get off my a$$ and do it for the first month or so. I will then need to make it to the gym one more time per week on my own on either Saturdays or Sundays to get in three days a week. Because I am planning to lift weights in addition to doing cardio on the elliptical trainer or treadmill, it's going to be important for me to space out my workouts and actually go those three days each week.

To tell the truth, I am kind-of excited about getting back into working out regularly again. I have made a few starts in that directions over the past couple of years, but have never gotten to the point where I'd achieved enough consistency for it to feel like a habit. Back in 2003/2004, I was very dedicated and worked out 3-5 days a week. Then I would feel like a huge part of my day was missing if I skipped a workout. I want to get back to that place.
I've jokingly told MM that he can let me know if he thinks I've lost too much weight and need to that would ever happen. LOL He pointed out that he has never once made an issue of my weight, which is absolutely true and to his credit. I have a strong suspicion that I am the heaviest woman he has ever dated (though I have no solid evidence to back that up). Let's face it: unless a man favors heavy women specifically or is dating someone who is already thin, no man is going to mind his girlfriend losing some weight.
Gotta get back to work!

Saturday, January 05, 2008



Just a quick note to record my weight. After only three days of South Beach and doing nothing more strenuous than walking the dog around the neighborhood, the scale is down 4.2 lbs.

Gotta love the first couple of weeks on a diet. We all know this won't last.

Friday, January 04, 2008

100 Things About Me

1. I don't like desserts that combine chocolate and fruit. . . . except chocolate-covered strawberries.

2. Ever since I was a teenager, I have believed that I will live to be old: at least 85 or so.

3. My hair is primarily naturally curly, but there a few stray strands that are almost straight.

4. I skipped first grade. After being tested, I went straight from kindergarten to second grade.

5. I've never tried any street drugs, not even marijuana.

6. I have always wanted a daughter and fear that if I ever gave birth to a boy, I would be horribly disappointed, at least on some level.

7. I'm a crazy one for sending friends and family cards on birthdays and such: I've bought at least 50 Hallmark cards a year since at least 1996.

8. I like raisins, but hate raisin bread. I like Big Red and cinnamon Altoids, but I hate cinnamon rolls.

9. I don't like Britney Spears--never have--but I like her new song Piece of Me.

10. My father was born in Ireland; he didn't come to the U.S. until he was 20. All his relatives except my sister and I still live there.

11. I have never visited Michigan.

12. I cyber-stalk my ex-boyfriends. The road to hell is paved by Google.

13. I love my Golden Retriever more than I like most people. And it's not just because I'm a crazy-dog-person: he truly seems more deserving of devotion.

14. I love the way it feels to be drunk. Not out-of-control drunk: just-past-tipsy drunk.

15. When I was younger, I used to want three children: two girls, one boy. Now I'm not sure if I'll even have one child, and I'm not as broken-hearted about this I would have thought I'd be.

16. If I have internet access, I cannot go even one day without checking my email...even though I probably get less than 20 personal emails a week and rarely got one that's important.

17. I like Barry Manilow's music. My favorite song of his: All the Time.

18. I've gone to Vegas for my birthday twice: 26th and 30th.

19. I love reading Victorian-era romance novels, especially Victoria Holt.

20. I have seen the movie Clueless so many times that I can recite all the dialogue.

21. I have never owned a house because I fear the commitment that home ownership represents.

22. I have lived in six different U.S. states: New York, New Mexico, Texas, California, Connecticut, and Arizona.

23. I call each of my friends on his/her birthday and sing The Birthday Song...even when I've already sent a card and even if I get voicemail.

24. I once went over 8 months without speaking to my father. Though I missed him at first, it was a wonderfully stress-free 8 months.

25. I hate NASCAR. I just don't get what the fuss is about.

26. I rarely cry when most normal people would. For example, though I was sad, I didn't cry at all at my maternal grandmother's funeral. If/when I cry, it's usually due to self-pity, not sadness or other emotions.

27. I played the clarinet from ages 10 to 17 and dreamed of someday playing professionally. I was pretty good; I made the all-state band and won a regional solo competition.

28. When I was in high school, I gave serious contemplation to entering a convent and becoming a nun. I prayed that God should send me a sign if it was His will for me to do this; shortly thereafter, college brochures started arriving in the mail. I took this as a sign that God wanted me to go to college and not the convent.

29. Despite the fact that I have moved about 20 times since college, I still have every card and letter I've ever received from a friend.

30. I still have a fixed retainer on my bottom teeth. It's been there since I got my braces off in 1986.

31. My father thought I would be a boy. My room and all my clothes were blue. Dad asked the doctor who delivered me when he'd scheduled my circumcision.

32. If I'm not good at something, it's highly likely that I will not enjoy doing it. Sometimes I hate that about myself.

33. I talked and walked in my sleep as a child.

34. I still snore.

35. I read The DaVinci Code cover to cover the day after I took the bar exam.

36. I have never been arrested, though I have broken the law. . . . misdemeanor offenses only.

37. I hated the movie Rushmore. I made the friend I went with leave thirty minutes into it.

38. I lost my virginity when I was 15. I wish I'd waited; he wasn't worth it.

39. One of my favorite things to do is explore a city I've never visited before--alone.

40. I love the ocean. I can sit on any shore and become almost hypnotized, watching the waves ebb and flow and listening to the surf. Few things make me feel so peaceful.

41. During the 1992 presidential election, I dreamed that Bill Clinton came to my student apartment and had sex with me with the Secret Service agents waiting outside.

42. I often wish I had been born with a trust fund so that my life decisions would not be so influenced by financial considerations. Even if I were independently wealthy, I would probably still work, but would love to not "have to" work.

43. When I was 19, I engaged in a very heavy makeout session with a man I knew was married. We came "this-close" to having sex, but I stopped him. That's the closest I've ever come to committing adultery.

44. My face, neck, and chest get very flushed and blotchy when I'm extremely nervous or angry. The same thing happens after I climax and if I have a lot of alcohol, caffeine, or spicy food all at once.

45. I look terrible in hats. I've never tried one on in any style that looked good on me.

46. I can't stand cold weather. I think snow and ice look really pretty, but would never want to live anywhere where it snowed and froze regularly.

47. I used to feel bitter that I was born with brown eyes, but I'm over it now. It makes no sense that my eyes are brown.: my mom's are blue, my dad's are hazel. My sister got blue eyes, the exact same shade as my mom's.

48. I dislike crunchy peanut butter, but I love creamy peanut butter.

49. Some say it's un-American, but I don't like apple pie.

50. Few things make me feel better than being able to help a friend in some way. I love to give advice (but only when it's asked for) and am willing to do a lot for a friend in need.

51. My stepdad, who was an alcoholic, propositioned me in college when he was drunk. Even though he died in March 2007, I'll never tell my mother this.

52. I hate shaving my legs. If I don't have a boyfriend and don't plan to wear a skirt or shorts, I'll go as long as I can without shaving.

53. I know all the words to every song in The Sound of Music and Grease.

54. When I was 7 or 8, I accidentally killed my goldfish by returning him to his fishbowl before his sterilized water had cooled sufficiently. My mom buried him in the backyard with a tiny tombstone.

55. I gave a classmate a bloody nose on the merry-go-round in kindergarten because he took my spot when I left to get a drink of water and refused to move when I returned.

56. I can't remember learning to read. It seems that I have always known how, even though I know that's not the case.

57. I told my mother to "fuck off" when I was 11; she cried. I still feel bad about it when I think about it.

58. I have never had a stalker. Friends who have say it is scary and unpleasant, but I feel a little insulted that no one has thought I was worth the trouble.

59. If I meet a woman who is exceptionally pretty and thin, I usually assume that she is either stupid or a bitch or both. I should know that this is ridiculous, since at least two of my good friends are exceptionally pretty and thin and are both wonderful women, but I always jump to this conclusion, at least initially.

60. The idea of a born-again or fundamentalist Christian president scares me a lot more than the idea of a non-Christian president. . . . even though I consider myself a Christian.

61. Many of the best things that have happened to me in my life have been the result of something that I did not plan and didn't even anticipate.

62. My father has been married to his second wife for over eighteen years. I never thought their marriage would last this long.

63. I absolutely love spicy foods.

64. I grew up in a small town: around 5000 people, less than 70 in my high school graduating class. I hated it and thought of little else from about age 12 on but getting the hell out of there.

65. The toenails on my "pinky" toes don't look like any of my other toenails and are actually kind-of weird-looking.

66. Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone ahead and gone to medical school and become a doctor, as was my aspiration from age 5 to 19. I think I would've been an excellent physician.

67. When my sister and I were growing up, I often wished there were two more of us: there were so many games I wanted to play that would've worked better with four instead of just two. I used to tell my mom this all the time.
When I was grown, I found out that my mom had had two daughters before us and, for different reasons, given each up for adoption. I wonder how it made her feel when I used to tell her that I wished we had two other sisters. . . .

68. I believe in God, but I'm not certain I believe that there is a heaven.

69. I find it really hard to stick to routines. I hate this about myself because it seems childish and irresponsible to me. I also believe that it keeps me from accomplishing some of my goals, like losing weight and getting more organized.

70. I rarely lie. . . . not just because I am an honest person, but because I am not a good liar.

71. Sometimes I wish I had lived in an earlier era so that I would have been a mother of many children by now. I probably wouldn't have had a career like I have now, but maybe being a mother with a large brood would have been fulfillment enough for me in a different time.

72. I don't have to be drunk to sing karaoke. In fact, I love singing in front of people. I should have been a performer.

73. I still have my bottom two wisdom teeth. They've been there since I was 19. I'm afraid to get them removed because it would require surgery and I've never had any kind of surgery.

74. If I could change one thing about myself with the wave of a wand, I would get rid of my temper. . . . it's gotten me into more trouble and heartache over the years than any other aspect of me, mental, emotional or physical.

75. I'd give up my television set before I gave up my computer.

76. I could eat pizza every day and not get tired of it. In fact, I tested this theory in college--it's true for me. I can have pizza so many different ways that I'd still get variety.

77. I've tried smoking cigarettes twice in my life: once at age 17, once at 26. I hated it both times, and it made me physically ill the second (& last) time.

78. I can live without most sweets, but I could never give up chocolate long-term.

79. I have a weird attraction to left-handed men. Three of my significant relationships have been with left-handed men, and I have been attracted to several others. One of the first things that I noticed about my ex-fiance was that he wore his watch on his right wrist. . . . though he turned out to be right-handed.

80. I would rather be mistreated than ignored.

81. I had a job as a telemarketer in college. . . . for less than two hours. I couldn't stand cold-calling strangers.

82. For reasons that are not clear to me, I am extremely regular and always have been. I have probably taken a laxative less than five times in my adult life.

83. I find it sexy when a man sings and plays the guitar.

84. While working at a hospital back in 1998, I called in sick for a shift simply because I could not mentally face the prospect of going in to work that day. I used to have a tight feeling in my chest just thinking about that place on my days off.

85. When I was 22, a palm reader told me that I would marry a tall, blond man. Each time I have dated a tall, blond man since then, I've wondered if he was The One.

86. I don't really believe in The One. I believe that a huge part of relationships (& life in general) is timing. Unless it's the right person at the right time, for both people, it's not gonna happen. And conversely, if it's not the right time for one or both people, it's not gonna happen, no matter how "right" he or she may be.

87. I have three degrees: associates in nursing, B.A. in psychology, and J.D. To some this may seem unnecessary and excessive, but if I didn't have to work for a living, I'd gladly earn three more. I'd love to study history, linguistics, and more psychology.

88. I'd make a horrible patient. I can't even tolerate a minor head cold or stomach virus without massive bellyaching.

89. I have been overweight all but about six months of my adult life. I haven't weighed less than 175 lbs since I was in my early twenties.

90. I would rather never marry than divorce. I know it's an old-fashioned idea, but I think divorce represents a terrible failure and is somehow shameful.

91. I love celebrating my birthday, and it hurts my feelings if a friend forgets it.

92. Random songs pop into my head all the time, and I sing them. I have no idea where they come from.

93. I own a wedding dress that I have never worn, except for fittings.

94. I think raw, cut onions smell like dirty feet.

95. I'm a little afraid of horses. Once stepped on my sandaled foot when I was 9, and I've never totally gotten over it. I have gone horseback riding a couple of times, but I'm still kind-of scared of them.

96. I get migraine headaches and have since I was 15. Sometimes I will go months without having a migraine--I've gone as long as nearly two years--and sometimes I'll have 2-3 in a week. I've identified a few triggers, but though I've lived with this for over twenty years, I'm still not entirely sure what brings them on and am sometimes surprised when I get one.

97. I like making to-do lists and checking off items as I complete them. Sometimes I will break a task up into smaller steps so that I'll have more things to check off.

98. I've often thought of writing a novel, but I've never come up with what I would consider to be a creative idea for one. . . . so I've never even tried to write one.

99. If I read a book and like its characters, I will re-read it again and again when I want to unwind.

100. I sometimes wish I had better fashion sense.

Common courtesy


Through recent conversations with friends and family members, it has become apparent that some things I think of as "common courtesy" are no longer very common. For example, I always send a thank you note when someone does something particularly kind for me, like sending me a gift or having me as a guest in their home.

Because sending a thank you note is something I always do, I thought nothing of the fact that I sent one to MM's parents thanking them for having me over for dinner on New Year's Day. In fact, I didn't even mention to MM that I'd sent it. . . . it just didn't seem out-of-the-ordinary to me, more like something that would be expected.

MM's parents received my note yesterday. Apparently acknowledging kindness with a personal note is not as common as it once was: MM's parents were "wow-ed" by the (very simple) thank you note I sent them. MM himself was surprised and very impressed and couldn't stop talking about how sweet I am. Too funny.

I still have my icky cold--more annoying than anything else. (Another point re common courtesy: covering coughs and sneezes.) I am taking a decongestant today; it seems to have helped some. I felt miserable when I first woke up and have felt progressively better since taking drugs and a hot shower. Coffee helped, too, as I didn't sleep much last night with my nasal drip and cough.

Today is day #3 on South Beach. Today has been the easiest day yet. I have not been hungry at all (except at appropriate times). My lack of hunger could be in part because I cannot really smell.


(Man, I wish I were one of those people who write really fun and interesting blog entries every day. Alas.)

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Clean bill of health


OK, today's weight is a good illustration of how the scale lies. I know I didn't lose 2.8 lbs overnight. So while it was nice to see a (much) lower number on the scale, I don't believe it.

I have been pretty happy with my first two days "back on the wagon." I have been fully compliant with the South Beach plan--despite the temptation presented by homemade brownies brought in to the office today by one of our nurses--and I have walked Sebastian each evening. Hey, it's only been two days in a row, but ya gotta start somewhere.

I have an icky head cold (thanks, MM). It's really more annoying than anything. My throat is scratchy, one side of my nose keeps running, and my sinuses are congested. I'm sure I'll live: MM said this cold only lasted three days for him.

I had my annual physical today. (I was a little overdue.) A new doctor, and I really liked him. He gave me the go-ahead to diet and exercise (in fact, he encouraged both--surprise, surprise). . . but he was actually not in favor of my jogging or running. In his exam, he noted that the cartilage in both my knees has some "wear and tear." As I am only 36, this came as a surprise to me. He said that I could reconsider running if/when I lose some weight, but he thinks my weight is contributing a lot to this and that I shouldn't further stress those joints by running. Awful!

His #1 suggestions for me for exercise were free weights and the elliptical trainer. Those are both things I enjoy, and this lends more weight to the side of the scale tipping toward joining MM's gym, as he's suggested. In two weeks, when the new year's resolution furor has died down a little, I'll be going and signing up.

My brother-in-law must be beside himself right now. He's a Virginia Tech alum and rabid football fan, and Kansas is beating VT 17-0. Yikes. Glad he's on the east coast and I'm in Arizona. My poor sister. Hope VT comes back. . .

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Yep, me and every other schmo

I know it's sadly cliched to start a diet right after New Year's. Nonetheless, I started the South Beach Diet this morning. I originally told my sister that I'd start it with her, to be a support; then she told me that she isn't going to start until later in the month because of her upcoming job change & other life complications. However, once I'd learned that V was going to defer her start date until later in January, I had already bought SB-compliant foods and purged my kitchen of non-compliant foods. So I figured what the hell, might as well get a head start.
When I go home shortly, I am going to walk Sebastian around the neighborhood. I'm not going to do anything more strenuous than brisk walks for these first two weeks while I'm on the strict phase one portion of SB; I don't seem to have much energy when I don't eat carbs. After that, though, I may join MM's gym and start working out with him after work 2-3 days a week. . . . just jogging/walking on the treadmill and lifting weights, I think.
We'll see how this goes. I've been frickin' starving most of the afternoon, so I'd better eat a lot more veggies for lunch tomorrow or something. Jeez. Well, it's always like this the first few days on any diet.
I had dinner at MM's parents' house yesterday evening. We had a nice time; MM says they like me, and they certainly seem to. They are nice people. MM was all tense; he stresses about most things anyway, and he is just not used to bringing these two areas of his life together. (He's only even introduced his parents to two other women, and the last one was years ago.)
Work is OK. I spent today working on lots of small projects. Tomorrow I plan to dive back into a bigger project I've been hacking away at for a couple of weeks. Good times. ;-)
Today feels like Monday since it's the first day I worked this week. I won't be seeing MM until Saturday, but that's not very far off, really. We are going to go to a hockey game--fun!