Friday, July 31, 2009

Challenge info

I plan to start this weight loss/fitness challenge on Monday, August 3rd. I hope the majority of those interested will start with me then, too. (Though I know Flying Monkeys has to wait until at least the following week due to travel.)

Leave any suggestions for format in the comments, and I will send out a group email over the weekend with the rules. At a minimum, I plan on weekly weigh-ins and one brief fitness-related challenge per week.

TGIF!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Thoughts on challenge format

I'm so excited that I've had FIVE people respond that they are interested in doing a weight loss and/or fitness challenge! I think this will definitey be a case of "the more the merrier."

While doing a little research on the best way to approach the challenge, I ran across this website: http://fatbet.net/home.aspx?ReturnUrl=%2fbets.aspx. Is anyone familiar with it? Know anyone who's used it, good or bad?

And to my ladies who are "in" for the challenge. . . . what do you think about using this tool for the weight loss challenge portion? One cool feature I noticed about the site is that keeps your actual weight confidential and only reveals the amount you want to use. You all know that I am very open about my "number," but I realize that not everyone is.

Being relatively impoverished by vet bills currently, I wouldn't be thinking of investing much money in this: certainly no more than $10 apiece, if that!

My current thoughts about the challenge are to have a weight loss portion, a la Biggest Loser, comparing percentage lost each week with a designated weigh-in day for everyone in the group; a fitness portion, where I (or some other group member on a rotating basis) come up with a challenge which must be performed that week (like doing 2 miles on the treadmill and reporting back with a time); and perhaps a nutrition challenge as well (like trying a new/seldom-eaten vegetable or something).

I am totally open to suggestions. What do you all think? (Feel free to weigh in on the format of the challenge--pun intended--whether you want to participate in the challenge or not.)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Challenge anyone?

215.6

Although today's scale reading was still lower than I've seen lately (despite my making no effort to eat better, save eating out less for financial reasons), it is still MUCH higher than I'd like to see it. I'd like to kick-start a weight loss and/or fitness challenge. I seem to do better when I'm competing on some levels with others (sick and twisted, I know).

Anyone else interested? If so, comment below. . . . and include your email address if it doesn't appear in your Blogger profile so I can reach you.

Thanks!!

P.S. Today is the fifth anniversary of my completion of the bar exam. God willing, I will never leave Arizona while I am still a lawyer and have to endure that ordeal again.

Monday, July 27, 2009

I'm alive

I have been very negligent about blogging of late, but I am gradually getting back to normal after a super-stressful week last week. I'd posted last Wednesday that both doggies were home and doing fine. Unfortunately, Sebastian didn't stay that way.

Sebastian began having diarrhea over the course of the evening and then vomited early Thursday morning. To make a long story short, he had to go back to the vet's on Thursday for more testing (he had labwork and a modified barium swallow), and the vet feared he might have gastrointestinal bleeding or a perforated ulcer.

I was in tears on Thursday morning, and not just because of the huge vet bill. I was genuinely afraid that Sebastian might die. He was very much not himself: he lay down on the floor of the exam room with his head on his paws while the vet was in the room simply because he was too weak and tired not to. (Usually he is pacing around or nudging the vet for petting.)

I don't mean to overdramatize, but Sebastian is my boy. If Hunter were to die, I would be sad, but I have not yet bonded with Hunter in the same way that I have with Sebastian. If Sebastian died--especially if his death were due in part to my own carelessness--I would be devastated. (Maybe one of the perils of being 38 and childless is that I've transferred all my maternal energies to my golden retriever.) So I was a wreck most of Thursday.

All's well that ends well, though. All Sebastian's tests came back normal, and though he had more diarrhea when I picked up him Thursday afternoon and continued to be not-quite-himself through Friday, he is now 100% back to normal. He's no worse for wear except that he is still on a bland diet for another week or so, taking an antibiotic to help restore his normal intestinal flora, and has a bald spot on his leg from where his IV was. Here he is tonight post-walk, with a close-up shot of his bald spot:



Hunter is fit as a fiddle and has been since coming home Wednesday. I could almost believe that Hunter ate no Rimadyl tablets while Sebastian ate all 25 himself. To give equal time, here are a couple of shots of Hunter from when CP was visiting:


Hunter also went to his first basic obedience class with MM last Saturday while I was in Tucson visiting my CASA child M. He is the only non-puppy in the class but did very well!

Eating has been so-so. MM and I have agreed to only eat out two nights a week until the vet bills are paid off, and I haven't been eating out for lunches either, so I'm probably eating a little healthier just by virtue of eating at home. Fruits & veggies still haven't been as abundant as they should be. . . . my usual failing eating-wise.

I went to the gym tonight and felt good about it. I plan to go at least four times this week. My arm still hurts some while walking or using the elliptical trainer, but I'm dealing with it.

Oh, and about my arm: it is slightly improved but still far from 100% normal. I have an MRI scheduled for August 4th.

I had a good, focused, productive day at work today and am hoping for another one tomorrow. And that's about all that's new here.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

More dog drama

For those reading this blog who do not follow me on Facebook, a little update is in order. I arrived home from work Monday to find Hunter's vial of Rima.dyl--which had contained 25 tablets that morning--torn open and empty on Sebastian's dog bed. (Sebastian also greeted me with a vial of Ultram, Hunter's other pain med, in his mouth.)

After calling pet poison control and learning that a Rima.dyl overdose of this size can cause liver and kidney failure, I rushed the boys to the emergency vet clinic. Treatment for Rima.dyl overdose required making the dogs vomit first (Sebastian actually puked up 6 intact Rima.dyl tablets), activated charcoal, various meds to prevent gastrointestinal bleeding, and 48 hours of IV fluids and lab monitoring.

Thank goodness, both boys are home now and doing fine. Their labs this morning were 100 percent normal, and they don't seem to have suffered any complications. They have to continue four meds for a week to prevent GI problems.

Though the care they received was VERY expensive, it was obviously top-notch and effective.

I pray this is the last problem the dogs have for a while!

Oh, one bit of good news for Hunter. The vet who saw him the past two days doesn't believe that amputation of his tail is indicated right now. So that's a relief.

Effective immediately, I have no other hobbies--no piano lessons, no massages, no new books--until the vet bill is paid off. The dogs are my only hobby. LOL

Monday, July 20, 2009

Accomplishing nearly nothing

217.0 (who knows? I ate crap all weekend)

Thank you for the comments and support on my last post. I think it's important for me to remember that we all go through funks at times, and they usually don't last all that long.

My weekend was so-so. It didn't help that it was kicked off by a 5+ hour wait in the ER on Friday afternoon/evening--at one of our firm's client hospitals, no less--that resulted in no answers about my arm. Starting your weekend by driving home 30 minutes while sobbing with anger and frustration and b1tching to friends, family and husband is not something I'd recommend if you're looking to relax.

Needless to say, I basically did nothing on Friday night. (I was too over-wrought to even eat until I'd been home nearly an hour.) Happily, however, a book I have been greatly anticipating from my paperback swapping site arrived in the mail that evening and I started reading it. I continued to read the book throughout the weekend and am now over 500 pages into it. (It is close to 700 pages long, so I have a ways to go.)

Saturday I helped MM with some housework--vacuuming and dusting, neglecting the bathrooms and laundry--and read. MM and I went to see The Taking of Pelham 123, which we enjoyed. I cooked tacos on Saturday night. (Whoopee, right? Hey, any time I cook a meal at all, it is noteworthy. Not so much with the domestic skills, this one.)

Sunday was more of the same: reading, petting dogs, and basically doing nothing. Sunday evening, we did meet MM's parents for dinner at Famous Dave's and watch new episodes of True Blood and Hung on HBO. That was fun.

So today it was back to the ol' grind. My most dreaded task of the day was entering my billable time in our time keeping system. Ugh. (I'd intended to do it Friday after my doctor's appointment, but never came back to the office 'cause my PCP sent me to the ER.) Entering my time took me over two hours. Other than that, I worked on a variety of other projects. One good thing about the day: my favorite partner (he's the one who hired me and with whom I most enjoy working) returned from his three-week vacation. It was nice to have him back in the office.

About my right arm: at least my PCP ("Dr H") is taking my problem seriously, even if the ER staff did not. I called his office right after it opened this morning to recap my Friday visit to the ER and let him know that my arm has not improved (or gotten worse, for that matter). His nurse called me shortly after 1:30 to have me come in today to get bloodwork to check for infection, and they are in the process of getting approval for a MRI of my arm. If it is approved, Dr H will await the results before deciding what to do next. If the MRI is denied, he will refer me to an orthopedic surgeon who specializes in hands/arms for further work-up.

I am relieved that I will soon be getting some further testing. It does not seem at all normal to me that I should still be having pain with movement and lumps under my skin after 2+ weeks, when my bruise and swelling have basically gone away. There has been no real change--for better or for worse--in my lumps and pain since the day after the initial injury. I (and my nurse friends, at work and otherwise) have speculated about possible causes, but the truth is, I have no idea what is wrong with my arm. (Hell, even Dr H is perplexed by my symptoms.)

I went back to the gym two days last week (Friday night was supposed to be my third day, but that didn't happen, thanks to my unplanned ER visit). It felt good to work out, but it also bothered my arm some. And I haven't even tried to lift weights for fear of pain. Can't wait to have this resolved and healed.

MM and I have become convinced over the weekend that Hunter can feel at least parts of his tail. We have agreed that, without clear and convincing evidence that he indeed lacks all sensation and has stopped using his tail, we will not amputate it. Hunter still won't lift his tail but does continue to move it vigorously from side to side.

I can't think that the vet is 100% convinced that he has no sensation either because when MM brought Hunter home on Friday, he also brought home more pain killers that she'd prescribed. If the dog has no feeling in his tail, he would have no need for pain killers, no? He is going back on July 31 for another follow-up visit.

So that's what's going on here. I can feel my funk wanting to recede. Perhaps once I get some answers about my arm, I will be able to get back into a better frame of mind.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Feeling down

217.6

I have had a couple of days of feeling pretty low. Usually I can snap myself out of these moods within a few hours or so by reflecting upon all the good things in my life (which are many). These past two days, though, that hasn't been working. So I thought that perhaps writing down all the reasons life's got me down this week might help me break out of my funk.

**My right forearm. I posted photos of the bruising to my arm as a result of Hunter's bite, but I haven't really written anything more about it. The bruising and swelling are 90% resolved, but something is wrong with my arm. I cannot extend it fully now without pain, and I have a hard, painful lump under the skin a couple of inches from the bend of my arm, as well as some smaller lumps in the area. I am beginning to think that I have a muscle or tendon tear of some type, and I am afraid that I am going to need surgery to fix it. (It has been two weeks and it certainly isn't getting better on its own.)

I have pain in the area with the lumps, particularly with certain movements, and often a feeling of tightness and/or pulling there also. Given that I am very right-hand-dominant, this has adversely affected my daily life.

I have an appointment with my PCP at 1:00 today. Not sure what he can do for something like this, but I'm hoping that he can at least get the ball rolling by ordering some tests and referring me to a specialist if intervention is needed.

I have never had any kind of surgery in my life and have never had general anesthesia. When you consider that fact along with my prior career as a hospital nurse and my current career as a medical malpractice attorney, I think it's easy to see why the thought of any type of surgery scares the sh1t out of me.

**Money. I earn a decent salary and usually have a fair amount of discretionary income. . . . at least in comparison to other times in my life. For the past two years, that has meant that I can take the occasional trip without going into debt, buy clothes when I need them, eat out when I want, and get massages, pedicures, and the like. Since July 3, I have spent nearly $1000 of my own money on Hunter-related expenses. (The total would be $1300, but $300 came out of our joint account.) And with today's doctor's appointment and the uncertainty about what will be necessary to fix whatever is wrong with my arm, that total is only going to increase.

I am thankful that I at least have the money to spend, but spending it has left me pretty tapped out for spending money for the next couple of months. In my current job over the past nearly-two years, I have grown used to not really worrying a lot about money and being able to spend within reason. I don't like this feeling of being strapped for cash. I have been trying to pay off the little bit of credit card debt that I have and save. These unexpected expenses are not helping.

**My weight and out-of-control, less-than-healthful eating. (Though the scale is inexplicably lower this morning, despite eating all three meals out yesterday. Weird.)

**Work. Lord knows, in this economy, I am happy just to have a job (and one that pays me a decent salary; see above). But having said that, I have been working on nothing but the most boring crap of late! Civil practice is fairly dry in general--the majority of most days is spent reading, writing, and, well, thinking--but I haven't even been to a deposition in two weeks. Plus I have had two ongoing research projects which are BORING AS HELL, and I am thoroughly sick of them. I am trying to write a motion in another case and have hit a major writer's block. . . . which is not helped by the fact that there is no real deadline for the motion. I am tired of sitting alone in my office and really missing my days as a prosecutor.

**Hunter. As I am writing this post, MM called to let me know the results of his follow-up vet visit, and the news is not good. Apparently the poor lamb has no feeling whatsoever in his tail. This problem was one of the potential complications of his tail fracture. He has another visit in two weeks, and if his sensation isn't returned, he will have to have his tail amputated. Otherwise gangrene could set in and be potentially life-threatening.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Owning it

219.2

When I first saw that weight on the scale yesterday, I thought it was a fluke due to pizza for dinner and dehydration. Alas, the scale showed precisely the same number this morning. So I guess I have to believe it now.

I'm not even going to go off on my usual rant about how hard it is for me to lose weight and how easy it is for me to gain it. The fact of the matter is, I have worked out once in the past two weeks and have been eating pretty much whatever I want during that time. At 38, you think I would have figured out by now that following this pattern of behavior means I am going to gain weight. Sheesh.

I did go back to the gym last night, finally. I did a solid 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer, but no weight training. I took a hiatus from working out this time because of my arm injury. While my arm was still very bruised and swollen, it hurt to swing it, and it REALLY hurt if, by chance, I accidentally brushed it against things. Because of that, I didn't want to get on the elliptical trainer or the treadmill--both of which have bars on the sides--and it is WAY too hot to exercise outdoors this time of year, so walking/jogging around the neighborhood was out. (Today's high temp was 111; Saturday's was 114.)

My arm is better. . . better as in "improved," not 100% healed. The bruising is nearly gone, but I still have some pain and swelling, as well as some lumps/bumps under the skin, a couple of which are visible and the rest of which are easily palpated. I am going to go to my PCP on Friday to get it looked at. I would be more worried that some muscle or tendon damage had been done if I didn't have full range of motion and normal strength (albeit with some discomfort).

Not surprisingly, when I am not working out regularly and eating more crap than usual, I have been really tired lately and had almost zero energy. Of course, feeling tired and having low energy often leads to laziness about workouts and food, so it's a nasty cycle.

Reading back on this post, it's so BLAH. That's pretty much the way I feel. Hope I can kick myself in the a$$ again soon.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Dog drama in pictures

Close up of the area where Hunter tried to claw through the drywall to escape the fireworks on July 4th.


Photo of damage to the door (after we'd cleaned up all the debris)

Bruise on right forearm, Monday 7/6

Bruise on right forearm, 7/4

My "assailant," mere hours after the "crime"

Bruise on right forearm, morning of 7/3, several hours after it happened

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Stress and drama

When I read all the comments on my last post, I felt bad about the sarcastic remark I made about the lack of comments about my dog troubles post. When I wrote the post about the dogs, I was feeling stressed out and was hoping for some support and feedback. I'm sure you know how it is to put something out there in hopes of getting a response and hearing nothing back. I think I felt that either no one was reading what I'd written or that no one cared.

Anyway, the sarcasm was petty and immature of me, as I am certain that anyone who takes the time to read my drivel has their own things going on, some of which are probably harder and more stressful than my dog drama. I meant it to be funny, but I think it came across snarky instead. It's nice to know that people are still reading, so I thank you for commenting.

Tension between the dogs continues. Over the past few days, I have come to the realization that my presence is a source of much of this tension. My friend CP is still staying with us, and she tells me that during the day when I am at work, the boys generally ignore one another and sleep in different parts of the common areas. Yesterday afternoon she saw the dogs play-wrestling on the grass in the backyard, which is the first positive interaction they have had since their first fight early last Friday morning. She doesn't notice them "mad dogging" each other when she is at our house alone with them. (Though I notice it in the evenings when I'm home.)

We have an appointment on Friday afternoon at 3:00 with a dog trainer/behaviorist (recommended by our vet) who is coming to do an in-home consultation. He suggested that we do what it takes to prevent more fights, up to and including keeping them separated. We have put away all toys and chew bones, and we have always fed them separately, so the only remaining point of contention seems to be me. I am being careful not to pet either of the dogs where the other can see me petting and am generally showing much less attention to their activities.

Hunter seems to be trying to make up with Sebastian. There have been a few times that he has gone up to him and nuzzled his neck and licked his face. Sebastian has not been receptive, though; he turns his head away and ignores Hunter when Hunter approaches him. (The trainer says that Sebastian is "correcting" Hunter by this response.)

On a positive note, Hunter seems to be doing very well physically. He doesn't seem to be in pain, and he is eating well. (In addition to his usual dry food, I am supplementing his feedings with a high protein canned food--yes, I am giving Sebastian some, too--and giving both dogs daily multivitamin supplements with extra calcium.) He is a little anxious, but that seems to be more due to the conflict with Sebastian than anything else. Hunter even wags his tail a little--just the end, like a pendulum, as he will not lift it--and I don't think he'd do that if it hurt him.

I really hope that the "dog whisperer" can help us resolve this situation. Although he said he couldn't really give me a full opinion before meeting the dogs, he sounded optimistic on the phone and has dealt with similar situations many times. It is stressful watching the boys all the time, waiting for something else to happen, and I hate not being able to pet them. I don't want to get rid of Hunter for several reasons. . . . not the least of which is that I don't want to send the message to Sebastian that he can drive someone out of our home with aggression. Letting Sebastian think that would not bode well for the future possibility of children.

The bruise on my right forearm is becoming quite colorful. After going to urgent care to have it examined on Monday afternoon, I have been taking prescription-strength ibuprofen and applying warm compresses to the area. (Apparently I have a large hematoma beneath the bruising also.) It hurts a little but seems to be generally improving. I really should post some photos of my arm because it is by far the worst bruise I've ever had and one of the worst I've ever seen, except perhaps in people who have suffered blunt force trauma through a motor vehicle accident or bludgeoning. I am very fortunate that despite causing a huge bruise, the bite did not break my skin. I haven't been going to the gym because my arm hurts quite a bit by the end of the day--what with typing, etc., all day at work--but plan to get back into that soon as well. I have a massage tonight and a work commitment tomorrow evening, but perhaps I will go back starting on Friday evening, depending on how my arm feels then.

Other than the dog drama, life is pretty much status quo. I'm still eating like crap (though I plan to get back on track over the weekend or on Monday at the latest). Work is busy but not too crazy. I have been staying up later in the evenings with CP visiting, and between that and the stress with the dogs and with a trial starting next one for my supervising partner--not to mention the effects of less exercise and poor eating--I've been exhausted.

I also have a weird skin issue going on which started a day or two before the dog fight/bite and has progressed since then. I was told on Monday at the urgent care clinic that it is pityriasis rosea. No one knows exactly what causes it, and it is not contagious. There is no treatment for it, but I am told that it will clear up on its own within a few weeks. Meanwhile, it is annoying because some of the patches are itchy. It is also unsightly: MM is totally grossed out by the patches, though he was relieved to learn that it's not contagious. Luckily, most of the patches are on my torso and upper arms and legs, so only a few are visible when I am clothed.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Yikes

215.6

I guess this is what a week of going back to my "normal" way of eating plus pizza and two pieces of chocolate cake with ice cream for dinner will do to the scale.

Oh, and thanks for the support on my last post. I'm being sarcastic, actually, 'cause no one even commented. Guess no one is reading anymore. . . . or if they are, they have nothing to say about my dog drama. (When I told MM that I don't think anyone reads my blog anymore, his response was "why would they? You're not Carrie Bradshaw. You are a boring married woman now." Nice.)

I am too tired, busy, stressed and in pain to really care about the scale at the moment.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Dog troubles

We have been dealing with some awful things with our two wonderful Golden Retrievers. As anyone who reads this blog knows, I have Sebastian, who will be 8 in October, who I adopted from rescue when he was 10 months old. Although Sebastian was diagnosed with mild mitral valve insufficiency at his annual check-up in March, it has only caused him to have a little activity intolerance so far, and he is generally healthy. Sebastian is placid, friendly and confident.

As I've posted about here, we adopted 4-year-old Hunter in early May. Prior to coming into rescue, Hunter's previous owner kept him in the backyard and used him as the stud for his backyard breeding operation. He had never lived in a house until a few weeks prior to coming to live in ours. Based on his behavior and reactions to various things, we are 99.9% sure that his prior owner was abusive. He certainly yelled at the dog and, we believe, likely hit him also.

For nearly two months, Sebastian and Hunter got along great. They play-wrestled together, slept together, shared toys & chew-bones, went on walks and to the park. I've posted photos of them together here, and I think it was obvious that things were going well.

Hunter has had a lot of problems since we adopted him, some of which I have written about previously. To briefly re-cap, he came to us having been exposed to kennel cough--which he developed within the first few days of coming to our house--and with a small earflap hematoma which grew large enough to require surgery to remove it. Post-operatively, he developed right-sided facial paralysis which lasted about a week and then gradually resolved on its own.

The last weekend in June, MM and I were talking about how great it was that Hunter was finally healthy and well and feeling very good about having adopted him. We were discussing how much more confident and calm he was becoming as he settled in and felt better.

I guess we spoke too soon.

On Sunday 6/28, another dog ran into Hunter's rear end at the park when both were running to catch a ball. We knew that Hunter was hurt because he yelped several times and refused to get up from where he'd been knocked to the grass for a few minutes. Eventually he stood and walked home, and his gait seemed fine.

Over the next few days, we noticed that Hunter was slow to get up and down from sitting and lying down. We still thought that he was bruised or had strained a muscle in one of his legs. We continued with his daily walks, though we stopped taking him to the park for fetch after one session two days after the collision obviously caused him pain.

Thursday night I fell asleep on the couch during the news, and MM let me stay there and went into our bedroom on his own. He left the dogs in the living room with me. A little after two in the morning, I was awakened out of a deep sleep by growling, snarling, and snapping. My first thought was to break up the fight, and I stumbled over in the dark and grabbed the waist of the first dog I touched (who happened to be Hunter). In the process, I was bitten on the left hand and right forearm. (Yes, I know: my own fault for jumping in the middle of a dog fight.) My right forearm in particular is still, three days later, deeply bruised and swollen and quite painful.

This event was so uncharacteristic of both dogs that I knew right away that something must be wrong. I took Hunter to the vet the following day and learned (after $600 of diagnostics) that he has a hairline fracture in one of the bones at the base of his tail. He is on two strong painkillers, prophylactic antibiotics, and rest for two weeks. He must return for a repeat x-ray in two weeks, and if the fracture does not heal on its own, they will have to amputate his tail. Poor lamb.

Since Thursday night's fight, the dogs have gotten in one other fight (over food, initiated by Sebastian!) and have been split up once for growling at one another, though no fight resulted. This type of behavior is so unlike both these dogs, and MM and I have been totally stressed out about it. MM is afraid that Hunter (being younger & stronger) will seriously injure or kill Sebastian, and I can't say his fear is unfounded.

I have a call out to a dog behavior specialist recommended by our vet. I am hoping to set up a home visit where someone can come out and work with us and help us fix this situation that has developed.

In additional to the tail fracture and the fighting, we learned the hard way Saturday night that Hunter is afraid of fireworks. I felt like such a dumbass because, what with all his other anxieties, I really should have guessed. Though to be fair, it is illegal to set off your own fireworks in our city, and we don't live anywhere near any of the approved shows. Regardless, apparently some neighbors a few doors down were setting off small fireworks. . . . the type that make a lot of popping sounds.

We arrived home to find the bottom half of the molding around our front door ripped off and parts of it chewed into small pieces on the floor. Hunter tried to claw his way out through the wall next to that door; he dug through the drywall all the way to the studs in places, leaving a huge pile of plaster dust on the floor and plaster stuck on his fur and claws. There were little smudges of blood on the floor and on the wall and molding, too, as he had cut his pads trying to claw out of the house. All told, he did an estimated $500-600 worth of damage.

I felt so horrible for Hunter when we arrived home and saw what he had done. How terrified he must have been to cause such damage! He was still panting heavily and drooling everywhere when we got home. . . . two things he does when scared, as we learned the first day we brought him home. It took 15-20 minutes to soothe him and calm him down, and he still jumped with every little pop he heard outside. As we cleaned up the mess he'd made, he was cowering and obviously afraid of being punished. We never even raised our voices to him, though, and made an attempt to project a calm air, once we overcame the initial shock of walking in and seeing the destruction.

So my two Goldens, who usually bring me much joy and entertainment, have been causing us some serious stress the past few days. There have been no fights now for a little over 36 hours, but we still aren't sure how exactly things will be resolved.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Halfway through 2009: a retrospective

The past few years on July 1st, I have stopped and thought "how can this year be half over already?!" (My mom warned me years ago that this happens as you get older. . .) This year is no exception.

Looking back at my blog posts for early January 2009, I do note that this year I didn't formally make any new year's resolutions. One good thing about that: I don't have to look back and dwell on all the things I've failed to do over the past six months. LOL

I do see, though, that even then, I was feeling frustrated and repulsed by my weight and my lack of motivation to do anything about it. On the plus side, it looks like my weight was a LITTLE higher six months ago: trending between 213 and 216, whereas now it's usually between 211 and 213. (Wow! BIG difference! LOL) I started a 30-day exercise challenge in the middle of the month and ended up exercising 28 of 30 days. (Of course, that also led to problems with my right piriformis muscle that continue to plague me today, but I digress.)

Oh, and on the home organization front, I see that I made reference in early January to finally unpacking and sorting through all the boxes from our move in September 2008. Yeah, guess what? It's now July, and that still hasn't happened. Surprise, surprise. I still haven't found some things that I *know* I brought from the old place, and I still have Christmas stuff sitting out in my home office.

So what useful information have I gleaned from looking back at the beginning of the year? Hmmm. The only thing I can discern is that I am still struggling with the same things today that I was struggling with then. Not sure how to feel about that.

On a more positive note, MM and I just passed seven months of marriage, and that is still going well. I am still gainfully employed. I am still blessed with wonderful friends, and my parents and in-laws are in (reasonably) good health. I was able to visit V and Rowan once since the beginning of the year, and I have plans to see them again in September.

OK, so I'm still fat and disorganized. Life is still pretty good.

EDITED TO ADD: OK, after I wrote this, I stumbled across this list from a December 30, 2008 blog post. So far, the only I've accomplished is #7, though I am working on #2 (because I'm being made to!). And so far, so good on #8, which is totally beyond my control.

Top ten things that I would like to do (or see happen) in 2009
(not listed in order of importance or likelihood)

1. Become more routine-oriented
2. Become a more efficient biller at work
3. Visit Rowan at least three times (especially now that he is getting to an age where he'll know whether or not I'm there!)
4. Lose weight (yeah, it's on the list again)
5. Get more organized at home (this one, too)
6. Get pregnant
7. Adopt another dog
8. My parents to stay in good health
9. See more of my friends
10. Write a first chapter for a novel