Saturday, September 29, 2007

Good second date

208.4
First, to address the scale: I am certain that this morning's weight is a fluke. I ate very little yesterday because I had butterflies in my stomach from about 11:00 on, and I had a beer yesterday evening before dinner. I think the combination of alcohol and not eating much is making my weight a little lower than usual today. Much as I would like to believe I really weigh 208.4, I don't.
I had an excellent second date with Minneapolis Man last night. (From now on, I will refer to him as M.M. Coincidentally, in addition to standing for Minneapolis Man, those are his actual initials.) I know he had fun, too, because he told me on the drive home that, as good a time as he'd had with me the week before, last night was even better. (Awww. . . . )
His final words to me as we said our goodbyes outside my gate were "see you soon," so I'm sure it won't be long before I hear from him again. I mean, after last night's date, it is pretty clear that something special is happening here for both of us. He made reference to the "connection" he feels with me and told me point-blank at dinner that now that he's met me, he doesn't want to go out with anyone else.
In my cynical way, I'd probably be thinking that he just said these things to have sex with me. . . . but we actually had a frank talk about the sex thing, too, and he was well aware that it wouldn't be happening last night or any time soon. After a heated make-out session in his car between dinner and the movie, as we were walking into the theatre, I made it clear that sex was not on last night's agenda. Our exchange went something like this:
MM: "So what are the odds of our finishing what we started later?"
S: "Do you mean having sex?"
MM: "Yes"
S: "Tonight? Zero."
MM: "Oh. Well, I hope you're not offended that I asked."
S: "Nope. If you didn't ask, I couldn't say yes, right?"
I think he was a bit taken aback by my bluntness. . . . but I think he liked it, too.
We talked about this topic again on the drive home after the movie--who knows, maybe he'd hoped that the canoodling in the theatre might have changed my mind on the subject. LOL I reminded him of a conversation we'd had at dinner the previous week:
S: "Remember when you told me last week that you hate it when you have sex with a woman on the second date and she immediately believes that you're in love with her?"
MM (hesitantly): "Yes."
S: "Do you remember how I said that I have no problem per se with anyone who does that, but that a woman should know herself and how well she can handle that situation?"
MM: "Uh huh"
S: "Well, I know myself well enough to know that, once I have sex with you, I will have certain expectations of you that it wouldn't be fair for me to have after two dates. So I can't go there yet."
He acknowledged this and went on to deliver the typical guy response: that waiting can be better, anticipation builds tension, blah, blah, blah. So it seems, at least at the moment, that he is at least resigned to the fact that it's not gonna happen soon.
We made out for another 10 minutes or so when he dropped me off. I know that he was hoping to weaken my resolve and get me to change my answer to yes--as most men would--but it didn't happen. I also fibbed a little and told him that my mom was upstairs. . . . well, actually, I said "my mom is staying with me, so. . . " and just let him conclude that she was in my apartment, even though she's actually in California at the moment. I thought if he came up, my resolve might, in fact, weaken. . . . and besides, my apartment is a mess. LOL
In addition to really liking him as a person and enjoying his company, I'm into him physically, too. Which is kind-of weird to me, because he is actually not at all my usual physical type: he is shorter, slimmer, and blond. I usually like men who are at least 5'10" or so, broad & big, and dark-haired. But anyway. Personality counts for a lot with me, so that's probably the explanation; I just like him enough that the fact that he doesn't fit my usual physical expectation isn't a big deal to me.
MM seems very, very sweet. I am well aware that men act quite differently while they are still trying to get you into bed with them, so it remains to be seen whether he will continue to act the same way. But right now, he is affectionate and funny and considerate and fun.
I'd also like to point out how unusual it is for me to be nervous or excited about something/someone to the point where I can't eat. I didn't have lunch yesterday because I had butterflies all day, so I thought I'd be starving by dinner. Then I ate most of my salad, only picked at my entree, and had no bread. Weird. I must really like MM. LOL
I don't think I am jumping to a conclusion when I say that I think we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other. And I still haven't found anything wrong with him: it's shocking! LOL

We saw "The Kingdom," which was really good. A little violent for my taste, but I guess the violence was necessary to the plot. I don't mind it quite as much when it's needed to move the story along; I just closed my eyes on some of the worst parts.
That was my evening!
Oh, and to follow up on my freak-out of Thursday night after MM learned that I planned to "check up on him". . . . he actually brought it up as soon as I got in the car last night. He said I should just ignore the burlap sack and the shovel in the back seat--a reference to my comment that my parents would freak out if my body were found buried out in the desert. He showed me his badge and his driver's license, too.
It was actually pretty funny. I didn't offend him, but he was very surprised, and upon further reflection, said he thought more women should be as cautious as me, especially with online dating. He has the type of personality that he loves giving me a hard time (I really like that, btw), so I think he just couldn't let the opportunity to tease me about it pass.
At dinner, he asked me if I had in fact checked him out and how. When I told him I had done some limited research, he was curious to know what I'd learned. . . . and a little freaked out to find out how much information about him is out there on the internet. (I can particularly understand this, given his job.) I told him that he'd better hope that none of his probationers have my research skills, or he might be getting some uninvited visitors to his home. LOL
Conversation between us is so easy. It's really fun to hang out with him.

2 comments:

Hilly said...

First of all congrats on the scale! I love the way you just matter of factly turned him down...it's very cute :)

JessiferSeabs said...

I am so glad that you met somebody you like. Even if nothing comes of it, it is always a nice boost to find somebody who likes you as much as you like them!

Fun fun!

And I also love the way you just completely turned him down (and he probabyl thinks that is really attractive, too -- a smart woman who knows who she is and what she wants and isn't afraid to stand up for herself!)

~jess