Thursday, September 27, 2007

Taking a break

By choice, I didn't work out this morning. My thigh muscles were sore most of yesterday, and the outside of my right knee was hurting. I figured the best approach--and two marathoner friends agreed--would be to take a little break from running.
Now I suppose I could've just walked. . . . but nah. I'll work out again on Saturday morning before heading up to Tucson. And I'll walk Sebastian tonight, so that will be a little bit of light exercise at least.
We had dinner with V last night as planned; it was really good to see her. Mom seemed to enjoy herself, too, so that was good.
Mom is leaving this morning to drive to California and visit some cousins. She'll be gone until Sunday evening. I'm sure she'll be glad to get a little break from me. LOL
I emailed Minneapolis Boy yesterday morning. Nothing major, just a little note to see how his week is going. When I got home from dinner last night, I'd gotten an enthusiastic email back. Aww. I'm looking forward to seeing him on Friday--tomorrow! I sure hope this turns out OK. After all the bad luck I've had with my love life this year, surely I'm due for a change. Right??
We shall see. . . .
I came to a decision on my drive to work. Since my successful date with M.B. last Friday, I have been attempting to maintain an even keel and curb my enthusiasm for him. Now I've decided: why? Life is short; I should enjoy my giddy feelings to the full. Goodness knows, I don't hit it off with a man this way very often. And even if things progress between us, I won't have these feelings for long; they are, by definition, short-lived. I've been trying to protect myself from hurt and disappointment by pretending to be blase'. No more.
What's the worst thing that can happen? He won't like me, or I'll find out something about him that I don't like. Life goes on. Considering what I've gone through in the past several months, how much worse could it be if this doesn't work out? I called off my wedding, ending things with someone I loved who was one of my best friends (SL), all because of his drinking. That was obviously very emotional. Then I found out that the guy I'd looked on as my "one who got away" and my gold standard ideal for the past 14 years (J) started having sex with men three years after we broke up and now knows he's bisexual. If I got through those two experiences in six months--and I did, and came out stronger for them--anything that happens with M.B. should be a walk in the park by comparison. LOL