Monday, November 05, 2007

Quick thought

As I have mentioned on this blog before, I am blessed to have many wonderful friends. I pride myself on my ability to stay in touch with people I care about, to nurture the friendship bond, and to be a good friend and offer help/advice/a listening ear when I can. The road certainly runs both ways when it comes to being a friend: many of my closest friends have put up with me during times when many lesser folks would have walked away.
Having said that. . . I am feeling drained lately from the drama in the lives of some of my friends, and I feel guilty about it! I genuinely want to listen and offer advice and support where I can. On the other hand, I only have so much mental and emotional energy to spend. How many times must I listen to the same ol', same ol' about an ex, or listen to someone describe to me how she has (once again) made a poor choice in her love life? Must I be always available, or is there a point at which it's OK for me to say "enough"?
I'm conflicted about this because, God knows, there are friends of mine who have really put up with listening to a lot of B.S. from crazy S, especially in the love life arena. (Ironically, not the same friends who are now making me feel annoyed and burdened.) I'm feeling, though, like I need some psychic distance from a few folks in my life.

2 comments:

Hilly said...

I don't know if this happens to you but if I get involved in too much of someone's drama, I start to get pissy and negative and am no help anyway.

It's okay to walk away from it now and again, seriously.

JessiferSeabs said...

I second what Hilly said.

also, this is why I tend to "blog it out" about shit that is bothering me instead of venting in person to my friends. People get a lot less annoyed whne they can leave a comment and walk away.

I think it is very normal to get frustrated and drained by other people's drama. There is a fine line between "being a good friend" and saying "okay, this is starting to negatively impact my life now." My best friend got divorced a couple of years ago, and it was starting to get to the point where I couldn't even answer the phone anymore when she called because (well, first of all, she was calling upwards of 5X / day), I'd just end up drained and frustrated and depressed. But, now she's happy. i gave her one year of much deserved high-maintenance behavior and then I was like "okay, your year is up." Now it's all good. ;-)