Motivation

213.4

I don't know why, but I have felt unmotivated to exercise for the past week. The last time I exercised at all was Tuesday 8/7. I'm sure the fact that it has been brutally hot here is a factor, as is the humidity on some days. I have also been out several evenings after work, at a time when I would generally hit the treadmill. But if I want to lose any more weight, I'm going to have to put a stop to this laziness!

My eating this week has been OK: I overdid it a little on bread last night while out to dinner with KC, though my entree choice at dinner and the rest of my day's choices were both healthful and good ones. The scale hasn't moved much, though. . . . probably because I haven't exercised at all!

Speaking of sh!t I'm not doing that I need to be. . . . remember my resolve to spend 30 minutes a night unpacking? Yeah, predictably, that hasn't happened either. Monday night I was out late for traffic school, then on the phone with J, then struggling with insomnia--hey, maybe unpacking boxes would've cured my insomnia! Last night, I was researching online for work, then exhausted by 9:30 because I only slept 4 hours the previous night.

Well, it's only Wednesday; there's still hope, right? I am meeting my friend KH & her husband (and 4-week-old baby) for dinner right after work tonight. . . . I should still get home early enough to at least work on the unpacking this evening. And tomorrow I have my Jenny Craig weigh-in and nothing else. . . . so I should be able to hit the treadmill *and* unpack. OK, feeling better already. I hope this isn't yet another of those promises to myself that I will very shortly break. . . .

I have several blogs that I read regularly. On one of them today (http://jessiferseabs.blogspot.com/), the blogger wrote about motivation. Among other things, she wrote "I think motivation is a bit of a crock of shit." After I read that, I thought: you know what? She is absolutely right!

I don't feel "motivated" to come to work most mornings. . . . but I come anyway because I have to work to support myself. I don't usually feel "motivated" to brush my teeth before bedtime. . . . but I do it anyway because I don't want cavities or dentures. I don't feel "motivated" to shower daily, but I do it anyway, 'cause damn! I'd be manky otherwise.

Recently my friend KC and I were having a conversation about my (perceived?) lack of self-discipline. . . . not in the context of weight loss, or exercise, or home organization, but actually in my ability to say no to tempting, casual sex. To my protest of "I know I have no self-discipline," KC responded "bullsh!t." She pointed out that I have managed to earn three degrees; that I manage to appear in court regularly without ever swearing or losing my temper in front of a judge; and actually engage in many behaviors that would tend to disprove my contention that I have no self-discipline. (Gotta love a friend who'll give it to you straight. . . . )

I will have to ponder on this further, but I am beginning to think that KC (& jessiferseabs) are right: motivation is a crock of sh!t, and I should be exercising some of the self-discipline I undoubtedly have to accomplish my goals!