I'm an idiot

212.8 (this morning; official weigh-in at 6:30 pm)

Clear evidence today that I am already too emotionally involved with J. My friend C has two extra tickets to a MLB game tomorrow. I'd mentioned to J last weekend that I had these tickets, and though he'd expressed some interest in attending, we made no firm plans about going together.

This morning I text'd him to ask whether he wanted to go with me to the game. Over the lunch hour, he replied with "I know it's pathetic, but I'll be studying." He claims he needs to make up some lost ground or some such.

I'm not doubting that this is true, and I also know that he's not a baseball fan, so none of his response is a surprise. . . . nor should it be a big deal. So why do I feel gut-punched by the realization that I am not going to see him this weekend?

THAT is why I'm an idiot. No one feels this level of disappointment because a *friend* isn't available to get together.

WTF is wrong with me? I guess I'll never learn. . . . .

It'll likely be weeks now before I see him again. And that's probably a good thing.