In regards to the question in my subject line, I want to first make clear: I don't feel guilty. I'm just pondering whether I should feel guilty. Clear?
The majority of my friends are open about sex, not-at-all-prudish, and not religious. A few of my friends, though, do not, under any circumstances engage in casual sex. They just don't go there at all until/unless there are significant feelings and commitment involved.
To be frank, while I am by no means a slut--I've averaged less than a man a year since losing my virginity--I also have never been one to say I absolutely must wait until I'm in love. The fact of the matter is, I'm a pretty sexual person and have been for as long as I can remember. Even so, more often than not, I have turned away opportunities for easy sex if I knew nothing more would come of a relationship. . . . but not always.
In college, with the first few men I slept with, I was much closer to my strict Catholic upbringing and did often feel guilty about having sex to men who weren't my husband. (The thought makes me chuckle a little now. . . . ) I never truly planned to wait until marriage--because I didn't plan to marry young and I was curious about sex--but I did want to keep my number of partners to a respectable minimum.
It's been years since I felt guilty for having sex with a man. But should I? I wonder if this lack of guilt is somehow a sign that I no longer have the high moral standards I once had.
Well, as I said in my first sentence: I don't feel guilty! I'm glad I had sex with MM, and I can't wait to have it again. The odds that he will be the last man I ever sleep with seem quite slim, but I don't care. I'm going to enjoy it anyway. ;-)
Is that wrong?