Sunday, July 01, 2007

Moving down


I actually weighed 214.0 yesterday morning. I didn't believe it was an accurate weight, as I stayed up late, slept in late, and had consumed a beer the night before. . . I figured I was dehydrated and out of whack.

Today I awoke at a decent hour, and I spent all day yesterday eating healthfully and rehydrating. So I trust that I really weigh 215 today. Wow. I'm glad to see the scale is moving down once again.

I had a completely lazy day yesterday. I did nothing productive. I slept late, watched the movie Seabiscuit in the afternoon (I'd bought it to watch in late April, but hadn't seen it yet), read a book, took a nap, surfed the internet, then rounded out the day by watching some old episodes of Friends.

I certainly had/have things I could be doing. . . but I figure I am coming up on a very busy period, between changing jobs and moving to another city. I wasn't sure when I'd have the opportunity again to just laze around, so I took it. And I feel good about it. :)

Today I plan to do some of the household chores I neglected yesterday. At 2:00 I am meeting friends L & E at the mall to buy a suitable outfit for my lunch with J on Wednesday. I know I've been a bit of a freak about the whole J thing. . . but I think it's a natural female impulse to want to look one's best for an ex-boyfriend. Because I have gained a considerable amount of weight since the last time he saw me (about 50 lbs), I'll have an uphill battle to impress him with my looks. So I'm going to put some extra care and work into my appearnce.

I think I'm putting my meeting with J into a more realistic perspective. Let's face it: regardless of what happens at our lunch, my life won't be changed. I'll still have the same friends, same family, same dog, and same new job if he disapproves of me. Plus, *I* may not approve of *him*. Who knows? I don't think I've changed much since I was in love with him at age 22. . . but I've probably changed more than I realize, and he has probably changed some, too.

My initial reaction to hearing from him again after so many years was typical of me in many ways--though I like to present myself as rational & logical, I'm secretly quite a romantic--but reality has set in. I plan to look my best, enjoy myself, and expect nothing.

Hard to believe it's July 1st! We are halfway through 2007 now. I'd be coming up on my 3-month wedding anniversary if I'd gone ahead and married S. So weird to think about. My daily life will be completely different in a month than it is now. Life is strange.