Friday, July 27, 2007

It is what it is, but what is it?

Just a quick entry. . . my workload has increased considerably just in the last 24 hours, so I need to get crackin'.
J and I met for dinner last night, as planned. It was a four-hour dinner; we were literally two of the last patrons in the restaurant. I am still immensely enjoying his company. I actually think I enjoy him more now than I did back in college. . . simply because in college a lot of my energy when we were together was focused on trying to impress him and be the woman I thought he wanted. Now I'm just me, so it frees up my focus to really listen to what he has to say on a deeper level.
We talked about all sorts of things (as you might expect, in over four hours!): incidents from the past, what we each have going on in our lives now (school for him, new job for me), past relationships, parents, religion. I love his laugh and the sound of his voice; I love his views of life (even when we don't agree); and I love the way he really listens to what I tell him. I had kind-of forgotten what a good listener he is.
I would say thathere is still some sexual tension between us. . . but, having said that, he has given me no indication that he wants anything more than friendship. Frankly, given everything that each of us has going on in our lives right now, I think a close friendship between us is preferable in many ways to anything romantic. So I am happy with the tone of things as they are. In the interest of full disclosure, let me clarify: that is NOT to say that I wouldn't--someday--want "more" with him or that I don't desire him. On the contrary. But I am happy with the way things are going for right now.
All in all, I am really enjoying talking with him and hanging out. And I hope nothing happens to ruin it.
Gotta get to work. And I have to move tomorrow. Ugh. Well, at least after tomorrow, I will truly be living here in Phoenix. . . . .