Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Communications blackout


I felt very "snacky" last night for some reason. I think maybe I am not eating enough vegetables. After having dinner, I was still hungry, so I had a substantial snack, followed by a bowl of oatmeal a couple of hours later. I hadn't eaten my full complement of food during the day, so I don't think I really did much damage. . . . and maybe failing to eat all my food throughout the day contributed to my munchies. Not sure. I couldn't quite tell if it was mental, hormonal, physiological, or what.
I have an apartment in Phoenix now! I am moving on July 28th. (I will be staying with KC for the first week of work and moving that following Saturday.) I think I will be happy with the place. It is in central Phoenix, in an urban setting, but with lots of safety features. It is quite close to my friend KH & her husband and about a 15 minute drive from work and from KC's house. The apartment is huge: over 1400 sq ft, and it's only a 2-bedroom. My living room furniture will be wholly inadequate to fill the living room. But that's cool. . . . gives me an excuse to shop.
I actually own very little furniture and stuff because when SL and I moved in together, we combined households and both got rid of things. I see a run to Ikea in my future.
I am trying not to think about J. I have resolved not to contact him between now and when I return from my Vegas trip on 7/20. We exchanged a few text messages over the weekend--both initiated by me. I am proud of the self-control I am exercising in not contacting him. . . 2 days and counting, LOL. We all know what it's like when you try NOT to think about something, though. . . . it's constantly on your mind then! If I told you right now "don't think about polar bears," the first thing likely to pop into your head is an image of a big white bear.
The only real way to NOT think about something is to be totally mentally focused on something else. . . my mind is never going to be a blank, right? Unfortunately, work no longer requires much focus, since I am leaving on Friday. And the other things in my life don't really require a lot of focused thought/concentration.
Ah well. I just have to keep controlling myself at least if I can't stop obsessing. . . . . over this thing that isn't even a thing and might never be a thing. LOL
I'm psyched about my trip to Vegas! KC is going with me so I won't have to be alone. We are leaving a week from tomorrow and just going for a couple of days. I got robbed of my trip to Vegas when I didn't marry SL, so now I'm making up for it.