Tuesday, September 30, 2008


I feel icky today for some reason. I didn't eat breakfast before leaving for the office, so I thought that was the reason I felt faintly nauseated. . . . but now I've eaten lunch and still feel icky. Hrmph.

In addition to feeling physically sub-par, I just don't want to work today. I am slogging through some projects because I have deadlines and I have no choice. . . . but I'd like nothing better than to spend the whole day on the couch reading a good novel instead. ANYWAY. . . .

To update: my period showed up on Saturday, right on schedule, as predicted. I had a brief phone call from the RE's office yesterday afternoon to review the paperwork we had submitted and to confirm our initial consultation for October 14th. Apparently no actual testing will be done at the first visit; rather, we will meet with the doctor (who is very qualified and was voted one of the Best Doctors in Phoenix), and he will review our histories and design a "treatment plan" for us.

At this point, I am not at all planning to have any treatment, if by "treatment" they mean interventions that involve my shooting my body full of hormones. A friend of mine sought care from a RE a few years back, and she told me that her doctor didn't try to push them into doing intervention. But I've also heard the reverse from some people: that their doctors were suggesting IVF at the first appointment.

I intend to make it clear to the RE at the first appointment that there are definite limits to what MM and I will do in order to have a baby of our own and that we are primarily interested in getting tested to see if there are any problems that will prevent this from happening naturally.

I am in no way judging or criticizing those people who use advanced reproductive technology to get pregnant. I just don't think that it's something I can do. I am prone to mild depression anyway, so I certainly don't want to put drugs into my body that will alter my mood. And I have a job that requires me to be able to focus and concentrate; from what I've read, many fertility drugs have a negative impact on cognitive function.

So we shall see what happens. I have not entirely given up hope that we will get this done on our own before we even complete the diagnostic phase. I certainly hope that is the case.

Anyhoo. . . . I really need another obsession. Getting back on track with the healthier eating and exercise would be an obvious first choice, particularly since our planned wedding date is now less than two months away. . . but so far, I'm not feelin' it. (I also never feel icky like I do today when I'm eating low-carb and exercising.)

I'm going to do the fitness boot camp starting on Monday. Maybe that'll kick my a$$ into gear. . . .