Thursday, March 06, 2008

Free-floating anxiety

204.8 (not bad)
I am not generally an anxious person. I can be obsessive and a worrier, but I usually handle high stress levels better than the average person.
This morning I awoke with a feeling of dread and tightness in my chest. No, not like I was having a heart attack: just a general feeling of ickiness. The way I imagine someone might feel before an impending anxiety attack.
I really can't pinpoint the source of this anxiety. I have been very busy and stressed at work, but that seems an unlikely cause, as I am just about caught up after almost two weeks of intense work. MM and I met with his realtor yesterday, so I considered our plans to buy a home soon as a source of anxiety: I have always had a hang-up about purchasing a home, and this purchase will be an even bigger commitment because it is also a commitment to living with MM indefinitely.
Still, I don't know if either work or the home buying process are responsible for this feeling. Who knows?
I also awoke feeling tired, despite going to bed early. I wonder if my diet of late is a factor: last night, Mom and I met V at Claim Jumper, where I had chicken in a heavy, creamy sauce, mashed potatoes, and bread, as well as chocolate cake. I also woke up feeling hungry today. . . . something that had not happened in quite some time. Something to think about.
MM and I will be going to the gym this evening, per our usual Thursday routine. I'm still tired as I sit here (despite 175 mg of caffeine in the form of a grande Caffe Mocha), so I hope hitting the elliptical trainer will boost my energy level.

WTF is wrong with me lately??