I'm out

211.8

We leave this afternoon for Vegas (closely followed by our trip to Maui). I am wrapping up my loose ends at work and have planned and packed everything for both trips to the best of my ability.

I probably won't post at all 'til I return after December 2.

Counting down

It's just a little over 48 hours now before I fly to Vegas for the weekend to visit V and her family. Although this visit could hardly come at a less convenient time for me--seeing as how it's right before I leave for Maui and my wedding--I am really looking forward to seeing my sister and my nephew!

I continue to plug away at my "to do" list. Focusing at work has become harder today as my mind shifts more toward getting prepared for my trips. (I'll be packing for both tomorrow night.) I still have three projects that I must complete before I leave and several others that I should complete, if time permits.

I've actually been calmer this week than last. I think the fact that I got a lot of things checked off my personal "to do" list over the weekend is a big part of the reason. Also, I've just arrived at the conclusion that, hey, these trips and this wedding are gonna happen whether I finish everything I need to do first or not. The inevitability of it all.

I am super-excited about finally seeing Hawaii and about marrying MM. Spending the time with him on vacation will be even sweeter because we haven't spent much "quality time" alone together, what with my busy schedule and my mom being in town.

We'll be married in just a little over 9 days!! ;-)

The lazy way to write a post

The Aging Meme: All you have to do is either finish the sentence or fill in the blanks...

At a certain age women should: be able to take care of themselves.

At a certain age men should: know how to please a woman.

When I was a kid I thought I would: be a doctor and cure cancer.

Now that I am older I wish: for world peace.

You know you are too old to party when: you can't stay up past 11 p.m.

You know you are too young to retire when: you are stll paying off your student loans.

When I was in high school I listened to the music of: Duran Duran!

Nowadays I find I like the music of: the Jonas Brothers. (Yikes!)

On my last birthday I: had dinner with MM and friends.

On my next birthday I want to: go out to dinner with MM and friends.

The best birthday present I ever got was: an iPod.

The first time I felt grown up was: when I passed my boards and became a licensed registered nurse at age 23.

The last time I felt like a kid was: so long ago, I can't remember it!

When I read _____??___________it changed my life.

Last year (2007) was: a period of great personal growth for me.

Next year I hope: to finally have a child of my own.

14 days 'til the wedding

On my way back to the office from a deposition early this afternoon, I had a bit of a minor panic attack thinking of all the things I need to accomplish before I leave town ONE WEEK FROM TODAY. (I'm not flying to Maui until 11/24, but will be in Vegas visiting my sis & her family the previous weekend.)

I don't have the heart or the energy to provide even an abbreviated list of what must be accomplished in the next less-than-seven days. Suffice it to say: I am going to be running around like a chicken with its head cut off, and I will still likely end up having to put some things--probably work-related ones--off until my return. (Simply because the personal stuff is "non-negotiable" and MUST be done before I leave.) And the vast majority of these tasks are things that *I* alone must do and cannot be delegated.

In spite of my too-long to-do list, I still had to spend time on the email and phone this afternoon with my wedding coordinator and her florist discussing my bouquet. (The Bouquet Problem is an issue worthy of its own blog post, if only I had the time and energy. My fingers are crossed that it's been resolved and will be the only wedding-related problem!)

And now am I putting my nose to the grindstone and cranking out some much-needed work product? Nope, I'm blogging.

[sigh] Sometimes I wonder about me. . . . .

Wouldn't actually getting some work done be more productive than blogging with a racing heart and shallow breathing? When will I learn?!

Focus

211.8

I had to laugh mirthlessly when I read my post two posts ago about starting South Beach again on Monday. HA! The South Beach book did indeed arrive last week, and I have re-read most of it. . . but I never even went to the grocery store last weekend and have continued with the same crappy food habits I've had for the past several weeks. Bleh.

Perhaps with all the things I have going on, now is not the most realistic time for me to be tackling my weight problem. I resumed my usual weekly gym routine with MM this week (though boot camp ended on 10/29, I skipped the gym last week due to migraines on both Tues & Thurs), so that's a good thing.

When I think about losing weight, I usually harken back most often to 2003. Although I have lost 20-30 lbs on a few different occasions in my adult life, my 2003 Weight Watchers ("WW") experience was the one where it felt the most like I had actually made a lifestyle change vs. dieting to get to a certain weight. I lost 35 lbs in about 4 months and changed my attitudes about eating and exercise tremendously at that time.

The main thing that is different between THEN and NOW is that in 2003, I focused A LOT of time, energy, and effort on my weight loss (and just generally being healthy). I shopped 1-2 times a week; I planned healthy meals and snacks; I made a diligent effort to follow ALL aspects of the WW program, including eating the recommended numbers of veggies and fruits each day; and I exercised six days a week: a brisk 45-60-minute walk on three days with a friend, and 30 minutes on the elliptical followed by weights on the other three on my own.

Because I was a law student at the time, I had the freedom to choose to devote my time and energy to tackling this lifelong problem of mine. Although I attended classes 3-4 hours a day Monday through Thursday, the other hours of my week were unstructured, and I could choose to study when (or if, frankly!) I chose to do so. So on a given day, I could wake up with plenty of time to eat a healthy breakfast and pack lunch and a snack, go to class for a few hours until the early afternoon, and hit the gym after classes before doing anything else. That was my routine most days.

I wasn't working at the time; I was a full-time student only. I wasn't in a relationship with anyone. With the exception of my roommate, all of my friends were other law students. My family were all living in other states.

Equally important as the flexibility of my schedule then, I think, was my FOCUS. Studying the law is a very intellectual pursuit, and as such, can be pretty intense. I needed to occasionally step away from my law books in order to maintain my sanity and really to be a better and more effective student. Focusing on healthier eating and exercise gave me a welcome respite from immersion in legal concepts. . . . the exercise also afforded a much-needed physical outlet for my stress. (Many of my classmates chose to deal with the rigors of law school in less healthy ways--like drinking lots of alcohol--but that's another post. ;-) )

Contrasting that period in my life with my present life. . . . I now have a full-time job where I am generally expected to be in my office eight hours a day. I have a fiance who I will be marrying in just a little over two weeks. Within the past few months, we have bought and moved into a new house, and I am still not fully unpacked from that move and have not finished decorating the house.

I've come to the conclusion over the past year or so that I am one of those people who must focus a lot of attention and energy on eating in order to lose weight. I have been exercising pretty consistently for nearly a year--averaging 2-3 days a week since early January at least--and I weigh more today than I did on January 1, 2008. I've known for a long time that exercise alone won't help me lose any weight, so my experiences of the past several months only confirm what I already knew.

To put my current dilemma in a nutshell. . . . my focus is elsewhere now. I am focused on work (at times! lol) because I have to be. I am focused on MM and our home because I want to be. Every time I make a start on the path to healthier eating, I lose my focus and am unsuccessful.

The biggest part of the problem is that I think it is wholly appropriate for my focus to be on my job and on building my life with MM right now. I occasionally worry about my high cholesterol and the associated increased risk for heart disease that this brings. I more frequently bemoan how out-of-shape I am and how fat I look. But my concerns about my health and my appearance have not been sufficient to motivate me to change.

Without looking back at my archived posts, I am certain that I have blogged on this same theme several times before. I wish there were a way for me to discover what, in 2003, brought me to the point of mental readiness to make the commitment to put my focus on healthier eating and regular exercise. At the time, as I lost weight, I remember truly feeling that I had made a lasting lifestyle change. . . . but I can't remember what made me ready to start!

I started WW in January 2003 at 212.2 lbs, so I was within a pound of my current weight. AND I had weighed as much as nearly 230 prior to January 2003, so I don't believe it was the number on the scale that motivated me. I was exercising 3-4 days a week before beginning to change my eating habits with WW, so I don't think it was really a lack of energy that spurred me to change.

WHAT WAS IT??!!

I suppose if I could figure out what motivated me back then, I could not only get back to working on my weight problem. . . . I could probably apply that philosophy to others and make a bundle, too! ;-)

And oh yeah, while I'm at it: maybe I could try to figure out why my home is so disorganized too. [sigh]

Damn you, Facebook!

Like many of my generation, I have joined Facebook. When I first joined, I didn't spend much time on the site. Most of Facebook "friends" are more what I would term "acquaintances." Few of my close friends are actually members. Of late, though, I've been getting enough messages via Facebook that I usually check it out at least once a day.

One feature of Facebook that I really hate is the "People You May Know" feature. For one thing, the people it features are often people I DO NOT KNOW. The fact that someone attended college at the same university where I attended law school does not make it likely that we would be acquainted. Facebook should figure out a better way to let you filter these folks out.

Worse, the people it features that I actually DO know are often people that I don't know well enough to feel comfortable "friend"-ing. . . . or are people that I know but don't care for. ;-)

I also hate how other Facebook members can "suggest" friends to you. I find this feature puts me in an uncomfortable position. If I know and like someone, I generally put forth the effort to search for him/her on Facebook myself. Twice "friends" have "suggested" someone to me who is someone that I actually dislike. AWKWARD!

I've also accepted "friend requests" from people I know, but don't particularly like, simply because I wanted to check out their profiles. How wrong is that?!

Finally, checking Facebook regularly has brought home to me the fact that practically every one of my law school classmates has a baby. I knew about several of these babies already, but have learned of at least four or five others born to people with whom I do not maintain contact solely because of Facebook. There's nothing I need more than another reminder that I am one of the last childless people I know.

Damn you, Facebook!

Now if you'll excuse me. . . . I need to update my status. . . .

Engagement photo session

Our photographer posted a few select photos from our recent session on her blog. You can view the photos here.

Because of his line of work, MM feels really uncomfortable having photos of him available for internet searches. . . . so I will only leave this link up for a few days and then will delete it, out of respect for his privacy (and to prevent felons on MM's caseload from seeing them! lol).

I especially love the shots with Sebastian.

Enjoy!!

Edited on 11/17 to remove the link to the photos. Email me if you missed 'em!

TGIF

211.2

I haven't written a blog entry since Monday, although there's been loads going on. I didn't want to blog about the election results, even though I watched Obama's speech with a sense of relief and happiness. And although I've been busy, nothing else has really seemed worth blogging about. Just the sort of busy that comes with having a full life. ;-)

MM and I will be married three weeks from today! And I will be leaving town two weeks from today and essentially not returning home until very late on the night of December 2nd. (I'll be home for a few hours on the evening of Sunday November 23rd before leaving for Maui early the following morning.) When I think of all the things I have to accomplish, both at work and in my personal life, before leaving town two weeks from today, I start to feel a little panicky. So I'm trying to just not think about it and accomplish as much as I can each day.

I was home sick yesterday with a migraine (putting me another day behind schedule at work). I was fortunate to feel 100% back to normal this morning.

Tonight MM and I are finally going to see Changeling. Tomorrow I am spending most of the day with my mom: I'll be taking her out to breakfast, spending time at my old apartment sorting through and packing up the last of my stuff there, and we'll be attending a friend's baby shower together in the early afternoon.

Tomorrow night, MM and I are attending a reception for some friends of his who recently eloped. I can't say I am entirely looking forward to the occasion because all the other guests will be friends and acquaintances of MM's who I have not previously met; that never makes for a comfortable evening!

Sunday I will have to get some stuff accomplished around the house, and MM and I are going to his parents' house for dinner. And then another week begins.

The South Beach Diet book arrived. I will hit the grocery store on Sunday and start Phase One on Monday. I figure I will do Phase One for 10 days, until we leave for Las Vegas on November 21st. That'll be better than what I've been doing of late!

Ironic

Although I will miss MM while I am in Prescott, I admit that I had been looking forward to being away from home tonight for one specific reason: because I am so sick of hearing about the presidential election. MM is absolutely obsessed with watching all the election coverage and commentary available, and it is been nearly non-stop for the past several days on multiple networks. I have begged him several times to TURN IT OFF. . . and he complies, but always turns the coverage back on after a while.

I was looking forward to a night in my cute little historic hotel with no TV and no election coverage. So imagine my dismay when one of the lawyers at my first deposition of the day mentioned that John McCain will be finishing up today’s campaigning with a midnight rally on the steps of the Yavapai County courthouse. . . right across the street from my hotel.

Is there nowhere I can go to escape talk of this election?!

And to add insult to injury. . . I have a strong suspicion that I am the only lawyer at this deposition who is not a McCain supporter. Ugh.

Oh well. Yet another incentive to hit the hay early tonight. With a little luck, I could be in a deep sleep before Senator McCain arrives and miss the whole thing.

Halloween

Because it was our first Halloween in the new house--in a new subdivision--we decided the wisest course of action would be for us to stay home and see how many trick-or-treaters we'd get. After a slow start, we ended up getting 30-35 kids.

Sebastian, dressed as an angel, greeted the kiddies at the door with me and was well-received by all but one little girl who looked to be about 16-18 months old; she didn't see him until she stepped forward with her candy basket and got scared when she saw him.


Sebastian resting on his dog bed during a lull in the action


Waiting on the dining area tile for the doorbell. Doesn't his look seem to say "Why are you torturing me?" This shot affords the best view of his wings.



On alert, facing the front door


MM and Sebastian posing with our jack o' lanterns and ghoul


MM and his ghoul. The ghoul's eyes flashed red when you pushed a button; it took me several shots to capture the red eyes.


The ghoul on his own. He was actually pretty creepy: in addition to the flashing red eyes, his tattered linens moved with even the slightest breeze. He freaked me out several mornings on my way to fitness boot camp!


The jack o' lanterns I carved for the occasion. I had a Golden Retriever head pattern, but it looked too hard and I wussed out! ;-)

Landscaping

Here are some long-overdue photos of our landscaping. The plants are obviously immature, and the sod hasn't really taken root yet. . . . but I'm happy with the way it turned out.

My future MIL suggested I take these pictures so that I can have something for comparison in a year. She did that with their current home and was amazed how much her plants grew in a year. I thought that sounded like good advice.

In looking over the photos, I realized that the red yucca plants didn't show up very well. We have several both in the front and back yards; I guess they won't really be visible until they get a little bigger. You can see the other plants, though, even though in some instances they'd be too small to identify.

I've written under each photo what it depicts.


The sissoo tree, red yucca, and bougainvillea to the right of our driveway. (This view is actually looking roughly southwest and is the road we would take to drive out of our subdivision.)


The sissoo tree and sage bushes in front of our house (also showing the home to left of ours).


The petite pink oleander and sage closest to the curb. . . with a red yucca *barely* visible in the foreground


The front of our house--windows open into the kitchen--with our three petite pink oleanders. Note the Obama '08 sign in the window: the only one we've seen in our neighborhood (though we've seen plenty of McCain/Palin signs).


Our partially inground spa with the flagstones leading from the patio. The trees behind the spa are a pygmy palm on the left and a Chinese elm in the corner. Notice our neighbor's much taller tree; they have lived in their home about a year longer than us.


Our little patch o' grass where Sebastian will be able to roll and romp. . . once the sod has taken root. . . with MM's pygmy palm and part of the spa visible in the upper righthand corner.


The grass as seen from the patio with the bougainvillea visible to the left