Thursday, June 04, 2009

Quick query for all who are willing to share

For those of you who have been married and also had children. . . .

Which brought you more happiness overall: being a spouse or parent?

I'm interested in hearing any and all opinions on this topic.

(Is there even anyone who reads this blog who is married with children besides my sister and my friend K?)

3 comments:

Who I Am said...

I'm a new (4months) parent, so my opinion might change. However, no matter how fulfilling motherhood is--and it IS--my marriage really does give me the most fulfillment.

SavyArt said...

I'm 34, I'll have been married 14 years this September, and I have an 11 and an 8 year old.

I think there is a problem with your question. The two are not separate when you are married.

My husband is my best friend in the world. He is the first person I want to call and share with, the first I turn to in tears, he is my other half.

My children are my life. I cannot imagine a world without them, and if something happened to them it would break me. I am not exaggerating. But they are a sum of my husband and I, and then a translation into who they are - all developing moment to moment into the people they will become.

In our marriage, my husband and I are both parents to our children, and thus we share the triumphs and the failures. We are different, but we love them in our own unique ways, and share that within our marriage. Our different perspectives enrich our parenting experience, and also our relationship with each other. The love we share in our children is another dimension to our partnership - thus the two cannot be separated from one another.

Something makes me happy with my children, it spills over into more happiness with my marriage. It works the other way too. They're intertwined. One day, the children will be grown and on their own, and we will have a stronger marriage because of our children - not solely, because even if we had never had children, we would still have a happy marriage. But our marriage is just... more.

I will say that when the idiotic question is asked "Your spouse and your child are both drowning in the river, you can only save one - who do you save?" I told my husband he sure as heck better learn to swim. But I think that's the mommy-instinct.

Hilly said...

No kids...but I shared this on Google Reader for you. :)