Friday, July 25, 2008


(didn't weigh 'cause I have a case of the "f*$% it"s)

I've often marveled at how life can continue calmly in the same direction for some time until BAM! changes begin to happen.  It often starts with a seemingly small change, but that one seemingly small change begets another.  Before you know it, you look around you and find that the life you were living mere weeks before is not the one you're living now.  It's almost akin to a seismic shift: suddenly your world is different than before.

I feel like I'm going through one of these shifts right now.  I am happy to report that the changes that are happening in my life are positive ones, because such is not always the case with these things.  I went through a "shift" like this not long ago. . . . just over a year ago, actually.  The catalyst for that shift was my break-up with my then-fiance SL and the cancelling (13 days ahead) of our wedding (

The break-up was obviously a huge change, but just as throwing a rock into a pond creates ripples, that break-up resulted in a ripple of other changes for me.  I changed jobs, moved to another city, and eventually met MM.  Not one of these things would have happened had I stayed with SL.  I could not have taken my current job, in my current city, if our wedding had happened as planned. . . . and I obviously wouldn't have been dating if I'd gotten married!  ;-)

By the time SL and I had been apart a mere four months, I looked around and found that everything about my daily life was different.  (Except Sebastian, of course.)  Living alone again in a new home, working at a new job in a different city.

Now it seems that my relationship with MM has itself set off a series of changes in my life.  He moved in with me about a month ago, and that has been going well.  Now we are shopping for houses together and discussing the possibility of eloping this fall while on vacation.  (Side note: is it really "eloping" if you plan it ahead of time?)  And we have discussed the possibility of having a child. . . an idea I had mostly given up for hopeless when things ended with SL.  Basically it all boils down to the two of us building a life together vs. just being boyfriend/girlfriend and enjoying each other.  It makes sense that this decision would lead to change.

I am excited about the changes we are planning, but also a little nervous about what my world will look like when this shift is complete.


Emily Canady said...

Ah, I love this post, because it feels me with such hope that things do obviously turn out okay even when you don't think they will at the time. I'm glad you were able to make such positive changes in your life and I love the comment about building a life together rather than just enjoying being boyfriend and girlfriend, I'm just enjoying the ride, and apparently not really planning a life and that should be indicitive of something.... mmmhhhmm..... anyhow, congratulations on your spontanious elopement, which probably can't really be eloping but kind of I guess. That is all realy exciting news!