When I stepped on the bathroom scale this morning, I saw a number I had not seen in 3 years: 202.4! Yet in spite of this fact (and the fact that my size 14 clothes have been getting tighter & tighter over the past few months), I have no motivation to eat healthier.
I refuse to buy any larger-sized clothes. For one thing, professional clothing in anything over size 16 is hard to find. Also, it's expensive. I hate shopping. And there is no need for it when I have plenty of perfectly good size 14 (& size 12!) things to wear.
I am genuinely perplexed about why I have no motivation to try to lose weight. I haven't even been exercising. . . . which is something I actually enjoy doing. I am going to have to cancel my Grand Canyon hike next month because I am in no physical shape to take it on. . . due to the fact that I have only exercised sporadically (if at all) for the past 6 weeks.
I really don't know what is holding me back. My energy level is low, but that is more likely a result of my unhealthy eating and sloth than an independent issue. My job stress is much lower now than 6 months ago, I have time to plan meals & exercise, all my personal relationships are going fine, SL's parents are gone. I even have an energetic young dog to encourage me to get out and walk. What the fuck?
I don't know if this rant has helped me answer my question, but I feel a little better. . . .
Thursday, March 02, 2006
What the hell is wrong with me?
Posted by S at 11:48 AM
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1 comments:
Maybe things are going *too* well, and you've gotten complacent? lol Would it help at all to go to in-person WW meetings? I know that they help keep me on track (D thinks it's a waste of money, but I'd pay just for the "shame factor" of having to weigh in for a stranger once a week!). Good luck. :) And think of seabass when you don't feel like exercising. :)
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