Free floating anxiety

207.8 (ugh! was 205 yesterday!)

I had a pretty productive weekend, with a little bit of fun mixed in. MM and I went to see the Dave Matthews Band in concert on Saturday; the show was fun. We met my friends M and J from Tucson for dinner beforehand, too, and it was good to see them.

Friday evening MM and I drove up and had dinner in our new 'hood and visited our new house. It's fun to see the progress each time we go there. The tile in the bathrooms and kitchen had just been put down, so we were able to get an idea of how it looks (although a lot of it was covered with brown paper. . . for protection, I guess). The house is not painted or carpeted yet. I'm really looking forward to seeing the finished product soon!

Saturday I spent a few hours at my office doing legal research and beginning to write a motion for summary judgment--the first of four I have to write before October 5. I didn't get as far as I'd hoped on the research or the writing, so that project will be taking up much of time early this week, in addition to two other projects with fast-approaching deadlines. Ugh. I had hoped to spend some time this week continuing to get caught up on some back-burnered work, but it's not looking hopeful.

Sunday KC came over and helped me go through all the various stuff I had stored in my closets. Quite a few of the items I have been carting around with me literally since college--a few even since high school! I got rid of a lot of stuff: threw away four bags of trash and old cards/letters; gathered six large boxes of stuff to be given away to charity; and reorganized the (few) items I felt I couldn't part with.

All this sorting and tossing took nearly four hours, but I felt much better for having done it! KC was surprised at some of the things I got rid of, because one excuse I'd made for years for holding on to a lot of it was "I'll use this someday when I have a house of my own." It seemed odd to her that now that I am on the verge of finally having a house of my own, I would suddenly decide to part with these items.

I can certainly understand why she was confused. I can only explain it this way: most of the things I'd saved were, at one time, things that I envisioned having in a house of my own. But now I'm no longer dreaming and planning for a theoretical house; now I am buying an actual house that MM and I will share together. Now that I know where and what my house is, I am letting go of the theoretical dream house I've always had in the back of my mind and embracing the real house. . . and realizing that many of the items I'd saved are not things that I want to have in this real-life house.

After Sunday's flurry of activity, with the exception of three boxes in my bedroom that I still need to sort through and toss/reorganize, the only things that remain to be packed for me are the usual things that most normal people would have to pack for a move: bathroom and kitchen stuff, a few knick-knacks, clothes. I feel confident that I can get this done--with MM's help!--prior to our move on 9/10.

I have been feeling mildly anxious ever since I woke up this morning. Not exactly sure why, but it may simply be all that I have going on at work and at home. You'd think that my anxiety about work would spur me to get some sh1t done. . . but you'd be wrong! I've been procrastinating all morning.

OK, enough putting off the inevitable! I'm going to get to work. . . .