Funk

218.2

I have once again been MIA from the blog for a while.  Decreased attention to weight loss seems to equal decreased attention to the blog lately.

I have been feeling particularly low for the last couple of days about two situations which are mostly outside my control.  One is something that I don't intend to talk about on this blog (not my marriage), and the other is work.  One of the legal nurse consultants at my firm was laid off last week due to decreased workload, and the two named partners who run the firm on a day-to-day basis told me yesterday that they are likely going to lay off one of the secretaries as well for the same reason.

Couple these layoffs with the facts that I have been experiencing a decrease in my own workload over the past few months, I know the other associate attorney at my firm is also short of work, and I am the newer of the two associates by several years, and I'm sure you can see why I am worried that I may be laid off next.

I have applied for a couple of positions by sending my resume this week, and I have plans to apply for a couple more which have longer, more complicated application processes in the next week or so.  I have put the word out among my attorney friends in my city that I am looking.  Now there is not much more I can do except wait and hope that I find something before the axe drops at my current job.

None of the positions I've seen, including the ones I am applying for, are exactly what I want to be doing for a job. . . . but we are heavily dependent on my income, and beggars can't be choosers.

I am not despairing, and I think perhaps some good may even come out of this situation in the end.  I have known for a while that my current position was not going to be my job for the rest of my career, and so this may be the spur I need to move on to something else.  However, I hate the tension at the office; I hate the stress over not being able to bill enough hours; and I am not really happy about basically being forced to look for another job, rather than choosing to do so in my own time.

My other situation, as I mentioned, is not for public consumption.  Suffice it to say, it is something that has been getting me down for a while and has gotten worse of late.  I have very little power or control over changing the situation, which just makes it more difficult for me to tolerate.  It is not a situation where I am willing to just make me peace and accept the status quo.

In an attempt to exercise some control over something I CAN control, I am going to start working on losing weight again.  I am going away Thursday night for the whole weekend, but when I return, I am going to work out for 30 minutes minimum six days a week and eat nothing but whole foods.  I'll likely be blogging more for some accountability.

I am also going to do the hCG diet when we return from San Diego in July.  (I have to wait because I have to get my PCP's approval and some labwork done, and I also needed to pick a time when I would be in town for three weeks straight.)  I posted about the diet a few weeks ago as a possibility, but now I have actually made the appointments necessary to get started.  (If you are interested in learning more about the exact hCG diet I will be following, you can read about it here.)

I have some doubts about whether I can follow a 500 calories/day diet for three weeks, and I am not entirely sure that doing so is healthy. . . . but I am desperate to do something drastic about my weight.  I know two people in real life and three online who have successfully lost 20 lbs or more doing this program, and I am going to give it a shot.

So that's where I'm at.  Hoping that some positive action will help me shake my current funk.