2009 Retrospective

(I have been working on this post for weeks. Given the year I've had, I found it a bit difficult to complete. Because tomorrow is the last day of the year, I finally managed to finish it today. Bring on 2010!)

Top ten things that happened in my life this year (in no particular order)

1. Visited NYC with MM (his first time visiting the city)
2. Learned to play the piano
3. Was a godmother for the first (& second) time
4. Adopted a second golden retriever
5. Experienced my first severe dog bite (ironically, from my own dog)
6. Had my first-ever MRI
7. Celebrated my first wedding anniversary with MM
8. Visited the White House (finally, on my ninth or tenth trip to DC)
9. Tried acupuncture for the first time
10. Spent one whole weekend relaxing at a local resort (something I'd long wanted to do)

Top ten things that I would like to do (or see happen) in 2010 (not listed in order of importance or likelihood)

*1. Become more routine-oriented
2. Change jobs
*3. Visit Rowan at least three times (this was on my list for 2009, and I fell short of my goal and only saw the little guy twice this year)
*4. Lose weight (on the list again)
*5. Get more organized at home (this one, too)
*6. Get pregnant
7. If I can't get pregnant, achieve acceptance, peace and serenity about this fact.
8. Hike more often
9. Take a cruise
*10. Write a first chapter for a novel

(*NOTE: I find it more than a little troubling that six of these are the same as on last year's list)

Ten lessons I learned in 2009 (in no particular order):

1. There are some "goals" that cannot be achieved, no matter how hard I work.
2. The universe likes to f$%^ with me. (I actually knew this already, but this year reminded me.)
3. Nothing in my life ever seems to happen when it should; I seem to be perpetually out of sync, for reasons that are a mystery to me.
4. It is folly to devote the majority of one's energy to achieving something which is not necessarily the result of hard work and doing everything "right."
5. Marrying MM was one of the best decisions I've made.
6. No matter how long you've known someone, it's OK to end the friendship if the relationship is consistently one-sided.
7. Even when I'm sure I know what's going to happen in a given situation, sometimes I end up being wrong.
8. Some things are more fun in the abstract or in retrospect than they are when you're actually doing them.
9. It *is* possible for me to have more books available to me than I can read in a reasonable period of time.
10. Mexican food in Arizona just doesn't taste as good as Mexican food in New Mexico.

Is it just me?

Just wondering how many of you keep track of whether the people to whom you send holiday cards send you one back. And if you do keep track, how long would you continue to send a card to someone who did not reciprocate?

To clarify, I am not talking here about people who are an active part of my day-to-day life and that I talk to regularly. I'm talking more about friends and extended family members with whom I was once close but now only correspond with occasionally at Christmas or on birthdays and haven't actually spoken with in years.

A very anal-retentive friend of mine told me a few years ago that she tracked this and dropped people from the list if they didn't send a card for two consecutive years. Because my own list had grown by leaps and bounds over the years because of my many moves and the friends I'd met along the way, I decided to track this, too. . . . but I always feel a little funny about "cutting" people from the list. I have gotten rid of a few people over the past few years, and there have been no ill effects from it that I've noticed.

Also, on a somewhat related note. . . . there are a few people on my list who normally send me a card who did not this year. (Again, people with whom I am not in regular, consistent contact.) I know one of them has a wife who is nine months pregnant, so I am cutting them some slack, but I can't figure out why the other two couples skipped me this year. One of them I have known the wife for twenty years, and we have exchanged cards nearly that entire time (and are friends on Fac.eb.ook).

Hmmmm . . . .

My husband says I am giving this way too much thought and that I shouldn't care whether people send me/us cards. He is probably right. . . .

A few thoughts. . . . none of them deep

• Christmas week is not a good time to start (or re-start) an exercise program.
• I never enjoy green chile sauce made outside New Mexico. I should remember this and not order anything with green chile sauce in Arizona because I will invariably be disappointed.
• No one wanted to come back to work today.
• Over eight years after leaving the field of nursing, I am still having dreams about going home after a shift at the hospital and realizing I forgot to chart. PTSD anyone?
• Is it wrong that my in-laws give me better gifts than my own parents?
• I recently learned through Fac.ebo.ok that two friends from college who married women I thought were wrong for them are still married over 15 years later. . . while people I knew who seemed "perfect" for each other are divorced. Guess it just goes to show that you never know. . . .
  

Back on track (again)

217.0

It's so nice to start the work week on Monday morning after having had a truly fun and relaxing weekend for a change. Seems like lately I have been in the doldrums a lot, and my weekends have not been very enjoyable.

Friday afternoon was our office holiday party. This year it was lunch followed by a few hours of games at Dave & Buster's. It was a lot of fun!

After the party, I picked up my last few Christmas gifts: some small items for MM to supplement his "big" present. While at Old Navy buying him some boxers (which were on sale, woohoo), I noticed they had some GREAT sales and ended up buying a few things for myself as well.

Saturday morning I slept until I awoke naturally--10 hours in all--and then wrapped my remaining Christmas gifts and did some laundry. I had a mostly leisurely day: the most strenuous things I did besides laundry were Furminating the dogs and picking up their poo. I read and played on the computer and relaxed.

Saturday night we met friends for dinner at a teppan yaki place in Scottsdale. We don't see this couple often--not more than once every 2-3 months--but they are fun to hang out with. It was the wife's 40th birthday, so we also went to a couple of bars afterward. Fortunately, the birthday girl was nearly passed out by 10:00, and we were able to make an earlier-than-expected exit. Sadly, I am too old to stay our late anymore. . . ah well.

Sunday morning, I got up a little early to go hiking with my friend V in the Superstition Mountains east of Phoenix. I haven't hiked at all since the weather has finally been cool enough, and I hadn't seen V much in the past few months. It was a BEAUTIFUL hike, and the weather was absolutely perfect: sunny, around 70, an occasional slight breeze. I definitely want to return to that area and hike more trails there; it is about six miles off the main road via an unpaved road, so it is a little remote. . . which meant fewer people on the trails and near-absolute quiet. I love that feeling that I am totally away from civilization.

V and I had lunch after our 3-hour hike, and I got home just in time to relax for a little while before getting ready to go see the luminarias at the Desert Botanical Garden. Having grown up in New Mexico, I *love* luminarias, so I was really looking forward to this event, and it did not disappoint. (MM even ended up enjoying it, though he only went to humor me.) We followed the luminarias with a visit to one of MM's favorite pizza places, and that was our evening.

Between trying on clothes Friday, thinking about my own upcoming 40th birthday (which is 15 months from today) and hiking Sunday, I began thinking--once again, for the bajillionth time--over the weekend about getting back on the healthier-eating-and-regular-exercise track. Actually, this topic is one that is never far from my mind. . . even when I'm doing little/nothing about it.

Today my gym bag is packed, and I intend to go to the gym after work today. It will be the first time I've been to the gym in about a month. Not sure how much cardio I will do, because I am just not feeling all *that* energetic, but I do want to get back on a regular weight lifting program, so I am going to start that today. I am going to lift weights three days a week and plan to gradually add in some cardio on my "rest" days as well.

Eating-wise, I am not off to a great start, having had nothing to eat at home and settling for a breakfast sandwich from Star$$ (though I did forgo my caffe mocha in favor of just coffee with cream & Spl.enda), but I did bring my lunch and plan to pick up a salad somewhere for dinner. Baby steps, I guess. I will have to make a trip to the grocery store sometime in the near future because I didn't go over the weekend.

So that's where I'm at. Guess I'm about two weeks ahead of most people this time in "resolving" to get fit. ;-)

I picked a good one

Last night after I went to bed, my wonderful husband booked us a trip to Vegas for the weekend of my birthday. I love going to Las Vegas, though I can only spend 3-4 days there and only wliketo go no more often than once a year. . . . for me, a little Vegas goes a long way. ;-)

We are going to stay in a SUITE at Mandalay Bay, reserve a cabana by the pool for one whole day, and go to see the Cirque du Soleil show "O" on my birthday! It should be a lot of fun.

And if MM gets lucky at the sports book, or I hit a jackpot on the slots, we may end up paying for the whole trip!

Yep, MM is definitely a keeper.

Lovely Monday

215.2

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my last post. It was cathartic for me to get those thoughts down in writing. And talking with people who read it reminded me that, as bad as 2009 has been, it could have been a lot worse. I really do have more good than bad in my life, and I am fully aware of it. It's just that the bad has been so soul-sucking for a while that it's easy to lose sight of that fact.

I have written here at length about my current discontent (which does not stem from my marriage or any of the relationships in my life), and am not going to write any more about it today. It can most easily be summed up by saying that I am spending the majority of my time these days doing things I'd rather not do, or at least in a way I'd prefer not to do them, rather than spending my time doing things I want and achieving the goals I'd like to.

Anyway. . . . that's still where I'm at.

For reasons that are absolutely a mystery to me, I woke up feeling exhausted and with a headache this morning after 8 hours of sleep. I seem to wake up tired more days than not lately. {sigh}

Could I get a weekend do-over?

But despite my lack of verve, I have a lot of stuff to do. So I'd better get to it!

The Christmas letter I wanted to write

[Note: I would obviously never REALLY send this out as my Christmas letter. In years past, I have really enjoyed writing and sending a Christmas letter, but it was always with a positive spin. I didn't write one this year. Perhaps when you read what I've written here--in jest--you'll understand why.]

As usual, 2009 has been an eventful year.

In January, to kick off the new year, we embarked on a series of invasive testing at a well-respected local fertility clinic. After multiple canceled and rescheduled appointments with our very popular doctor, having been told that he could find nothing wrong with either of us except that my eggs are "old," I started using traditional Chinese medicine and acupuncture in an attempt to achieve pregnancy without medical intervention. Three months later, after spending thousands of dollars and enduring weekly sessions with acupuncture needles and three-times-a-day teas with the foulest tastes and smells imaginable, we resigned ourselves to having to use the fertility clinic's services.

As you can see only MM, the dogs, and I here in our family photo, you have probably already guessed that, despite the months of fertility drugs and frustration and thousands of dollars spent, we are still childless. (And no, I am not pregnant in the photo, just fat.) In early August, just a couple of weeks after the dogs' overdose (more on that later), I got my first-ever positive pregnancy test, only to find out within the same day that I was having an early miscarriage. We hope it is not the only positive pregnancy test we will ever see, but who knows?

On a related note, I'd like to extend my congratulations to the twelve people who announced their pregnancies this year--one the day after my miscarriage was diagnosed--and the fifteen people we know who welcomed their first child into the world in 2009. And especial kudos to the two friends who managed to accomplish both the birth of a child AND another pregnancy this year! You know who you are. . . .

In February, in an attempt to preserve my sanity, I started a hobby I had long wanted to pursue: learning to play the piano. I took lessons for a few months until I had to quit them in July due to incurring over $5500 in vet bills in a short period of time (more about how that happened later).

In early March, my dog Sebastian went for his yearly check-up and was diagnosed with mitral valve insufficiency. His vet could not say how quickly his disease will progress to congestive heart failure, but it is incurable; only its symptoms can be treated when necessary.

Later in March, MM and I traveled to New York City where we spent a long weekend with my sister, brother-in-law and nephew in a beautiful luxury guest condo in Hoboken, just a short ferry ride across the river from Manhattan. MM enjoyed his first visit to the city, and it was great to spend some time with my little nephew Rowan again.

In April, I was honored to be asked to serve as a godmother for my friend C's son, W. MM was kind enough to attend the baptism, and it was the first time we had ever been in a church together.

We took a trip to San Antonio in May, where we visited with friends R and N and their toddler son, and spent a relaxing weekend at a local resort the first weekend in June.

In early May, we adopted a second golden retriever from Sebastian's rescue group. Hunter (pictured on the right in our photo) had been used as a stud in someone's backyard breeding operation and had never lived in a house prior to coming into the rescue group's care. After a period of bad health which included a bout of kennel cough and surgery for an ear flap hematoma, recovery from which was complicated by right-sided facial paralysis and skin excoriation from the bandages, by late June, Hunter was doing well.

Unfortunately, a couple of weeks after having the stitches taken out of his ear, Hunter broke a bone at the base of his tail in a collision with another dog. We did not realize the extent of his injury until he became aggressive with Sebastian. Once his fracture was diagnosed, he was put on two strong painkillers and was doing well, until one evening when I arrived home from work to discover that the dogs had overdosed on his NSAID painkiller. Both dogs required a trip to the emergency vet hospital and a 48-hour hospitalization on IVs with periodic lab work to prevent kidney and liver failure. Sebastian had to return to the vet less than 24 hours after discharge due to a suspected perforated ulcer, which was ruled out by a barium swallow study.

We were fortunate that Hunter's rescue group paid for his ear flap surgery and kennel cough treatment. Unlucky for us, we had to pay for his tail fracture and both dogs' overdose-related vet bills ourselves. As a result, I had to cut back on all unnecessary spending, and we had to table the idea of traveling anywhere fun for the holidays.

We also learned that Hunter is afraid of fireworks when he tried to claw his way through our front door and the surrounding drywall on July 4th while we were out at a friend's. We now know that he is also afraid of thunder and will react similarly to that type of noise. Bob the Handyman became our friend during his two trips to our home to repair the damage Hunter caused. What a nice guy!

Hunter and Sebastian are friends now and doing fine, thanks to some help from dog trainer Brad, who came to our home to work with them during a period in July when they were fighting and we thought they might kill one another. After getting bitten on the arm while breaking up their first middle-of-the-night tussle, I developed a huge hematoma on my right arm that led to multiple doctors' visits and even an MRI when pain in my arm persisted and a small lump in my forearm never went away. (My arm is much better now, though I still have some deep scarring.)

September saw us traveling to the DC area for vacation and to attend Rowan's baptism. We got to visit with my law school friends W and his wife, and K and her husband and two toddlers, while we were there. We did a lot of sightseeing and had a great trip. It may be our last trip to DC for a while because my sister is relocating.

In the current state of the economy, we are glad to report that MM and I are both still employed at the same jobs as last year. We managed to make it to our first wedding anniversary in November without infidelity, divorce, death or other catastrophe. I continue to volunteer as a CASA and now also manning the information line for the goldens' rescue group. MM continues to say that if/when we win the lottery, he will donate 90% of the money to charity.

Our parents are all still around, despite my father-in-law's bouts of diverticulitis and shingles, my mother-in-law's back and hip pain, my dad's many chronic health problems, and my mom's quirkiness and frequent cross-country travel. We see the M's regularly, we just visited my father and stepmother in Las Cruces for Thanksgiving, and my mom spent nearly three months at our house last winter and will be returning in February 2010.

We will be spending Christmas at home, licking our wounds. (Just kidding.)

All our best for a joyful holiday season.

M & S

The Boys

Here is a photo I considered sending out in the Christmas cards rather than taking a "family" photo. However, MM said that, as pathetic as it is to send out photos of us with our dogs, it would be even more pathetic to send out photos of the dogs alone.


I took this picture of the boys the day after Sebastian's recent 8th birthday. The occasion was not just his birthday but also that they had been to the groomer that day (note the black-and-orange Halloween bow visible on Sebastian's collar).

Hunter is on the left and Sebastian is on the right. Aren't they handsome?

Happy Holidays

My sister suggested I share our Christmas card photo on the blog, so here it is.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the B-M household. (Sebastian has the red bow; Hunter has the green.)

Holiday Cheer

In the interest of posting something a little more upbeat, I bring you our holiday decorating, such as it is. . . . .


Isn't our tree little? It is artificial; we bought it 50% off at the local hardware store just before Christmas last year. Neither of us wants anything bigger--there just isn't space--and we don't want to hassle with a real tree and its pine needle shedding.

Note the tree skirt. It is satin with hand-sequining and was made by MM's now-deceased paternal grandmother.


A close-up of one of my favorite ornaments. Two guesses on where/when we bought this surfing Santa. . . .


Here's another ornament I bought on clearance at Hallmark after Christmas last year. I like it 'cause it has a little wedding photo of us in it. (The ornaments visible to the right are a couple of the Wizard of Oz-themed ones MM has had since childhood. His mom gave us all his ornaments after we got married; there are too many to fit on this tree!)

Stuck

213.2 (<-- go figure: I ate a big, sodium-and-fat-laden takeout meal for dinner last night)

Lately I feel stuck. Although there are many good things in my life and I am able, at least on an intellectual level, to acknowledge them, I am once again feeling that I am not where I want to be in my life. For weeks, I have felt that I am suffering from a mild depression; nothing serious enough to have a significant impact on my daily life, but just feeling joyless and like I am going through the motions.

It seems to be a feature of my personality, or a recurrent theme in my life, or something, that at least every few years I find myself feeling restless and unsatisfied. In the past, this feeling has seemed to stem from external sources and situations: an unfulfilling job, a bad relationship or prolonged singlehood, lack of friends in the city where I was living. Now, from the vantage point of having nearly reached middle age (40 is only a little more than 15 months away for me), I am beginning to wonder if I am the problem. That no matter where I live, what I'm doing for a living, or who is in my life, I am going to periodically having this feeling of being stuck.

When I was just out of college, in my early 20s, I had a 2-year relationship with R. We lived together for most of our relationship, and I can truly say that he was my closest friend during that time also (and constituted the majority of my social life). Our relationship was solid and, really, the first romantic involvement I'd had up to that point which was not dysfunctional in some way. R was loving, respectful, supportive, you name it. . . an all-around great guy and great boyfriend.

Yet in spite of the stability of our relationship and R's many sterling qualities, I always knew on some level that I would not stay with him long-term, that our relationship would not lead to marriage. (Sadly, he did not know this, but that's another post.) At the time, I believed that marrying R would be "settling" because he wasn't ambitious or educated, was of average intelligence, and was content for life to simply continue as it was indefinitely. I shared none of those characteristics. We were also from vastly different backgrounds: he was Navajo and had been raised on the reservation by his non-English-speaking, traditional grandmother.

More than our superficial differences, I felt that we were mismatched on a deeper level, that he would never truly "get" me, and that if we married, I would end up dissatisfied with the direction my life had taken. R accepted me just as I was. . . which sounds like a good thing, but given the fact that *I* wasn't satisfied with myself, I thought that he would hold me back.

In the (many) years since my break-up with R, I have realized what a blessing it is to be content with your life as it is, as R was. I've realized that the problem was not him; it was me. (As a side note, I will say here that R has been happily married for over nine years to a doctor who adores him; they have two adorable little girls together, and he was a good stepdad to her now-19-year-old son.)

[Lest you begin thinking at this point that I regret not marrying R, or that I am in some way discontent in my relationship with MM, let me assure you that neither is the case. My marriage is fine. I made the best decision I could make about R at the time when I made it, and I have not regretted it. I share this story merely as an example of my pattern of dissatisfaction with the (perfectly good) things in my life.]

I am fortunate to be married to a great guy. We live in a comfortable home with two wonderful golden retrievers who bring a smile to my face every single day. We are both employed in full-time jobs with benefits and earn enough money to meet our basic needs and then some.

My parents are still living, and I have a good relationship with both of them. I have a sister and nephew whom I love, though I don't get to see them as often as I would like. My in-laws are terrific people who are completely "no drama" and have unreservedly welcomed me into the family.

I have some great friends, near and far, who are there when I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to just gab with. I am able to donate my time (and sometimes my money) to charitable causes. My health is pretty good, obesity and high blood pressure and cholesterol aside. (Yes, those are raising my risk for future disease, but luckily, they haven't caught up with me yet.)

If pinned down and asked to name the precise source(s) of my current discontent, I could come up with three things: my weight (always an issue on some level), my inability to have a baby, and my job. . . . not necessarily in that order.

I have talked about my weight on this blog ad infinitum. I am not going to beat that long-dead horse today.

I have talked less about our difficulties in having a baby. Yes, I mentioned here that I went off the pill in April 2008, but I haven't written much else on the topic. To make a long story short, we have been "trying" since that time, nearly a year and eight months now. The only thing we have to show for it is wasted time, wasted money and frustration. I had one very, very early miscarriage in August 2009, and other than that, no results whatsoever, despite the use of medical intervention.

I really don't have much more to say on this topic, and there is no advice anyone can give me that will improve that situation one iota. It is what it is.

I have occasionally written about my job here as well, specifically, my dislike of having to bill my time. I realize that this is a necessary evil of civil practice and that the only way my firm makes money is when clients pay for the time we spend working on their matters. I thought that as I gained experience in civil practice and increased my workload and responsibilities, the billable hours would come. That has been true to a certain extent, but I still find it onerous and contrary to finding a productive flow to have to track all my time, all day long, in tenth-of-an-hour increments.

Although when I was hired I was told that my monthly billing goal was a "recommendation," now because I have consistently failed to meet that goal in all but a few months, I am in a situation where my salary will be adjusted down proportionally in any month that I do not meet my target. What fun.

There are other frustrations as well. I work for four different partners, and each has a different workstyle and expects different things from me. On the plus side, they are all nice guys, not one jerk in the bunch. There are the inevitable interpersonal conflicts with some of the administrative staff in the office which I'd have no matter where I worked. None of these, in isolation, would be enough to make me want to change jobs.

The work I do is a mix of interesting and boring. On weeks when I am attending or taking a lot of depositions--and thus interacting with other people--I like my job. On weeks where the bulk of time is spent sitting at my desk, writing, reviewing documents or doing legal research, I like my job less. I am the most junior attorney in the firm, which means that I get stuck with a fair number of undesirable assignments.

I have philosophical differences with a major client of one of the partners. This client is a governmental entity, with all the expected bureaucracy and employee turnover, but more than that, my knowledge of some of its practices, gained through representing it in litigation, has made me wish we did not represent it. (I can't say more than that.)

The mild-to-moderate discontent I am currently experiencing about my job does not even approach the level of discontent I had with nursing before deciding to go to law school. In the main, I still like being a lawyer. I know that any job as a lawyer is going to involve a lot of reading, writing and research; I know that I will occasionally disagree with the philosophies and beliefs of the party I represent; I know that there is no "perfect" situation.

And yet. I miss having more personal interaction in my job, and I hate billing my time.

Where many people in my position would just suck it up and find a way to tolerate the things they didn't like, I feel almost compelled to seek out a better situation for myself. (Though given the current economy and job market, I am probably going to have to just suck it up, at least for the foreseeable future.) I'm not quite sure what might suit me better, though.

And I have to come back to my original conclusion: that it's not the job, it's me. Have I not found myself to be eventually discontented in every professional position I've ever held? The longest I have worked for any employer post-college is three years, and that was for a company that sent me on a different job assignment every 3-6 months.

Given what I now realize about myself, is it realistic to think that changing jobs is the answer?

I don't know. I hate this feeling of being stuck, though, and in the past, the only way I have found to get past it is to change some things. I don't want to change any of my relationships; I own a house and am not in a position to relocate; and I can't do anything about my lack of fertility. So what else could I change?

Oh yeah, I guess I could try working on the whole weight/health thing. 'Cause that's something I've found myself to be really successful with in the past. (I mean that sarcastically, in case you couldn't tell.)

Maybe the solution is intensive therapy (which, by the way, I can't really afford). Or finding God. Or who-knows-what.

Anyway. If you've gotten this far. . . . thanks for "listening."

Peeves & Pleasures Thursday

214.4

PEEVES

• Having less than $10 in my checking account until payday (tomorrow).
• Going to the post office during the month of December
• Non-stop Christmas music (and it's only December 3rd. . . )
  

PLEASURES

• Curling up with a good book
• Talking with an old friend I haven't seen in years
• Booking a flight for an upcoming trip
  

Humpday

213.8

It's a sad commentary on how little I've been doing around the house lately that I felt disproportionately proud of myself last night for cleaning the bathroom sinks/vanities, dusting, loading/running the dishwasher and putting away some laundry. Thank goodness my husband is a neatnik who regularly tidies up, does dishes, and vacuums and/or mops the floors, or our house would be in a sad state. I still haven't fully unpacked from our trip to Las Cruces last week.

As it was, the only way I was able to get even that much accomplished was that MM was gone doing fieldwork, and I told myself that I had to put down my book (Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris, Sookie Stackhouse Book #6) after every chapter and do 15 minutes of something around the house. Lame. I managed to finish my book, in addition to getting those few things done, and started the next book in the series.

I haven't been to the gym in weeks. I did walk the dogs around the neighborhood last night for about 15-20 minutes, but that was more for their benefit than for mine.

I have less than $10 in my checking account right now until payday on Friday--last week's trip and Christmas shopping have temporarily tapped me out--so I am eating food I have in the house vs. going to the grocery store for more. That's meant less-than-healthful breakfasts, but no eating out, which is a good thing.

I seem to lack the motivation to do much of anything. Not that that is really a new phenomenon.

My BFF KC took our "family" holiday photo on Sunday, and I am just waiting for the prints to arrive to send out our holiday cards. They are addressed, stamped and ready to go once the photos arrive. Despite KC's best efforts, I didn't really love any of the shots she took. For one thing, the dogs were not very cooperative; for another, several angles showed my muffin top in a very unflattering way. I ended up settling on one that was acceptable but not great. Oh well, at least it's done.

Once we get our photos and send out our cards, maybe I will feel more in the holiday spirit and perk up a bit. We have yet to put up our tree or any Christmas decorations; doing that would likely help, too. I found out yesterday that I cannot visit M, my CASA child, on Saturday as planned, so I suppose that MM and I could put up the tree Saturday afternoon now.

MM has finished all his Christmas shopping--he only has to buy for his parents and me--and I have only a few gifts left to buy. I need to mail Rowan's gift, and I will buy the remaining gifts that need to be mailed online and have them shipped directly. Going to the post office this time of year is a nightmare!

MM's job duties have changed slightly, and he is now doing a lot more fieldwork. That means that he is out working at least 2-3 evenings per week, so we are seeing less of one another. Neither of us likes it. He has put in to transfer to another position that will mean no fieldwork, but it could take months. Ugh.

What a boring post.